


Gestures

by HT912



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-16 21:15:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 23,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29088918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HT912/pseuds/HT912
Summary: A series of one-shots highlighting the moments that make the real magic
Relationships: Jester Lavorre/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 25
Kudos: 72





	1. Book

**Author’s Note: Hello everyone! So, if you are a reader of my past works you may be confused by what I am doing writing something so different from my norm. Well, in short, I need some practice writing romantic situations and if you have kept up with my stories you know why that is. So, I decided to lean into one of my favorite pairings and just have some fun for a bit.**

**While I'm on a break from my main series I am going to be writing some one-shots surrounding Caleb Widogast and Jester Lavorre. These will not be connected so I am going to be bouncing around as I think of different scenarios. I will also be highlighting what episode you should be caught up to so spoilers can be avoided. I do not have a set schedule for these, and they will generally be pretty short.**

**You should be caught up to at least Episode 61 for this story. I did take some liberties with the location, so it is not completely exact, bear with me.**

**Okay, that is it for me. Feedback is appreciated if you have the time. Thanks for reading and I hope you have a lovely day.**

* * *

“What are you doing?”

Beau’s voice caught Jester off guard enough for her to flinch and let out a small squeak. 

“Don’t do that, Beau,” Jester quietly seethed. “I’m trying to be sneaky.”

“… gotta be honest. I don’t think you’re doing a particularly good job.” Beau replied, lowering her voice.

The monk was right. Jester Lavorre had placed herself on the stairs overlooking the living room of the Xhorhaus. There was little concealing her save the angle she was in. Yet even if you were not looking for her, it would not be difficult to find the blue tiefling trying to hide like a goblin girl. 

“Well, he hasn’t noticed yet,” The cleric said, returning to her stares. 

Looking downward, Beau could see Caleb Widogast peacefully sitting on a couch without a care. This was mostly because he was reading something.

“That’s because he’s got his face buried in a book. The world could be falling apart, and he wouldn’t notice.”

“I think he’d notice if the world was falling apart, Beau.” Jester snorted.

“Agree to disagree, but seriously. What are you doing?”

“I’m trying to figure out what book he’s reading.”

“… have you tried asking?” 

“… no… but he seems so focused on it I didn’t want to interrupt.”

“Then just look at the front of the book.”

“I tried, it’s blank.”

“So, your plan is to just hang out here trying to read his book from a distance?” 

“Yes, but sneakily.”

Beau rolled her eyes. “I’ll just ask for you.” The monk said walking down the stairs and making her way over to Caleb. 

“Wait Beau hold on,” Jester pleaded, but it did not stop her friend from marching up to the wizard.

“Hey Caleb, what are you reading?” Beauregard asked loudly, making sure her presence was hard to ignore. Yet the wizard found a way. 

“Heeeello Caleb,” Beau said, surprised she did not have an answer. 

Again, the wizard read on. His eyes tracking every sentence of his book and not once glancing in Beau’s direction. 

“Caleb!” 

Her voice now rising to a shout did nothing to grab her friend’s attention, and after a few moments of silence the monk gave up. With a shrug of her shoulders, she returned upstairs to Jester.

“See? What I’d tell you?”

“Huh, I guess I don’t have to be sneaky then,” Jester said, standing up from her crouched position. “I still want to know what he’s reading.”

“Good luck, it’ll probably take-”

“I heard shouting what’s going on?!” Nott the Brave shouted bursting from her room crossbow in hand and dashing toward the cleric and monk. “Are we under attack?!”

“No Nott, we’re fine,” Jester said calmly. “We’re trying to figure out what book Caleb is reading.” 

“Oh, is that all?” The goblin girl sighed in relief. 

“Tried getting his attention, but whatever that book is it’s got him good,” Beau said dryly. 

“You’re better off waiting until he’s done,” Nott said, looking over the railing down at Caleb. “Nothing short of the house exploding will make Caleb stop reading.”

“Or the end of the world,” Beau muttered to herself.

“I guess I could wait, but now I’m really curious,” Jester said leaning over the railing trying to get a better look at the book. “I think I can see something about baths.”

“Baths?” Nott said, confused. “Why is he reading about baths?”

“Wait… you don’t think,” Beau mumbled before she grinned. “Caleb’s reading porn, do you?”

Jester gasped, putting a hand to her mouth. “Do you really think so?”

“You can’t be serious,” Nott said, looking like the monk was the stupidest human in Exandria. “You really think he’s reading smut in the middle of the living room?”

“What else could it be?” Beau said, arms in the air. “I thought it was just going to be a boring magic textbook or something, but if it’s got baths, then it could be porn. I bet it’s like a really steamy part or something.”

“Baths can be used in a non-sexual way, Beau.”

“Then what do you think it is?” 

“I mean… it could be something about personal hygiene or something. He’s gotten much better at taking care of his smells.”

“Seriously? That’s your guess?” Beau said, unimpressed.

“I think it’s more likely than porn,” Nott said in a huff.

“Want to bet?” The monk said with a wicked smile.

Nott paused for a moment but then returned the smile. “What did you have in mind?” 

“Loser buys the house a round of drinks.”

“That all? How about the loser buys the house three rounds of drinks?”

“Okay, but you have to be the one to get his attention.”

“Deal!” Nott said reaching out with her tiny goblin hand, which Beau eagerly grabbed.

“Good luck Nott,” Jester said, giving the little goblin a thumbs up.

“Watch and learn girls. I’ve got this.”

Nott made her way to the living room, weapon still with her, and approached the couch Caleb was reading on. Taking a deep breath, the rouge shouted.

“Aaah! Caleb! My crossbow misfired, and I got hit in the hand! Put the book down and help! There’s blood everywhere! Aaaaaah!!”

A few more groans and moans of fake pain added to the intensity of the lie, but the book remained Caleb’s focus. With no change in the wizard’s demeanor, eventually Nott returned to the others. 

“Really thought that would work.”

“What was that?” Beau asked, her arms once again in the air. “I thought you said you had this. He didn’t even look at you!”

“It must be a really good book,” Jester said, trying even harder to peer into the pages below.

“Quite the gathering we have here,” The group turned to see Caduceus walking toward them. “What’s the occasion?”

“We’re trying to figure out what book Caleb is reading,” Jester answered, almost falling over the railing entirely but catching herself at the last moment.

“Have you tried asking?” Caduceus breathed.

“Of course we have. Nott even faked an injury, but the guy won’t put the damn book down.” The monk said in a huff.

“Hmmm, perhaps we just leave him alone?” 

“We’re in too deep now,” Jester said sternly. “We have to know.”

“Plus,” Beau said, lowering her voice. “It might be porn.”

“No, it’s not!” Nott shouted. 

“I suppose I could give it a shot,” The pink-haired firbolg said with confidence. “If only to regain the peace we once had.”

“You think you can do it, Caduceus?” Jester said in awe.

“Won’t know until I try.”

The cleric walked down the Xhorhaus steps and into the living room. Yet instead of approaching Caleb Caduceus walked past the wizard and made his way toward the kitchen.

“Did… did he not understand what he was supposed to do?” Nott asked the others. 

“Maybe he was hungry,” Beau said, shrugging her shoulders. 

“Do you think he’s making snacks for all of us?” Jester asked excitedly. 

“Maybe, you never really know with Caduceus.”

“Wait, he’s coming back,” said Beau.

Carrying a single teacup with a thin saucer holding it up, Caduceus strode right up to the wizard. 

“Would you like some tea, Caleb?” The firbolg asked with a smile. “I already had a pot on.”

The offer, as kind as it was, went unheard.

“Alright, well it’s here if you’d like,” Caduceus said, putting the teacup down on the table right in front of the couch. With still no response, the cleric walked back upstairs to rejoin the others.

“He’s a tough one.”

“That was a good try Caduceus,” Jester said with two thumbs up.

“Certainly better than Nott’s.” said the monk.

“Hey!”

“Ya know, it’s not easy to nap with all the yelling,” The small group turned to see Fjord walking toward them. “Just so you’re aware.” The half-orc yawned while looking annoyed. 

“Well we’re doing important work here,” Beau said, crossing her arms.

“Oh really,” Fjord said, not convinced in the least. “And what is so important you’re willing to wake up half the neighborhood?”

“We want to know what Caleb’s reading,” Nott said, pointing to the human on the couch.

“… that’s it?”

“It’s harder than it sounds,” Caduceus mumbled. 

“Well, it **sounds** like you’re bringing the whole house down.”

“We’re not that loud, are we?” Nott asked Beau with a somewhat mocking tone.

“Of course not!” The monk replied loudly.

“Listen,” The half-orc said, rubbing his forehead. “If I can find out what the book is, can the screaming stop?”

“Sure, but I don’t think you stand a chance,” Beau said with a smirk.

“I have a feeling you’re all making a bigger deal of this than it actually is. I’m just going to ask our friend what book he’s reading and then I can return to my nap.” 

“Hold up Fjord,” Caduceus said, putting a firm hand on the half-orc’s shoulder. “Guidance.”

“Oh my god,” Fjord said with a groan, feeling the magic surge through him. “Really?”

“You’re going to need it,” The firbolg said, patting the shoulder twice.

“Okay then,” Fjord said, rolling his eyes and walking downstairs.

“You got this Fjord!” Jester cheered.

“Never give up! Never surrender!” Nott yelled.

“Try punching him!” Beau shouted.

 _I just want to sleep_. Fjord sadly thought to himself.

Walking to the living room, the half-orc made his way to the human before realizing that he had no idea how to approach the quietly reading wizard.

_Wait… should I be casual about this? Do I ask him seriously? What if he doesn’t respond? Do I just ask again? Is there a time limit to this?_

More than a few moments passed with the warlock staring at the reading wizard, unsure of how to proceed. 

_I’m overthinking this. Just got to ask him what he’s reading, and this can end._

“Oh, hey Caleb,” Fjord said, acting as if he had just walked into the room. “Whatcha reading buddy?”

Caleb Widogast turned a page, and it was the only acknowledgment Fjord got. A few moments later, the half-orc could hear the snickers coming from upstairs. 

“Caleb,” Fjord said, clearing his throat with some force behind it. “What are you reading?”

Once again, the call went unheard and the snickers above evolved into loud chuckles.

“Look Caleb, just tell me what you’re reading so I get back to my nap… please?”

Nothing.

“Alright ‘friend’ you asked for it,” The warlock rolled up his sleeves and summoned his sword into his hand. “Eldritch blast!” 

There was no actual magic behind the shout, merely a last-ditch effort hoping to gain a reaction from the human. When that failed, the discouraged half-orc returned to others in time for the barrels of laughs his friends were having.

“It’s not that funny,” Fjord grumbled. 

“Come on buddy, don’t be mad,” Nott grinned.

“Haha, are we done now?” 

“I guess so. Unless anyone else has any bright ideas.”

“I’ve got one,” Beau said, looking over the railing down at Caleb and then at Jester. “We could drop Sprinkle on him.”

“What? No!” Jester said, clutching her hood where the crimson weasel rested. “We’re not doing that!”

“I’m not saying we should,” The monk said, looking to the others for support. “I’m saying we could and if we did, it would be hilarious.”

“It’s too big of a drop he would get hurt.”

“Nott can cast feather fall,” Beau said, looking at the goblin. “He’ll just float down onto Caleb’s head and get his attention in a way only an angry weasel can.”

“That… would be pretty funny,” Fjord said, already smiling at the idea.

“Fjord!”

“Well, it would.”

“I’m against this plan,” Caduceus said firmly. “Sprinkle’s been through enough trauma. We shouldn’t add to it needlessly.”

“What? No, Sprinkle’s fine,” Jester said, removing the weasel from her hood. Something the critter did not appreciate. Being removed from the warm hood had the crimson pet snarling, lashing out, and biting the air in every direction.

“He’s just a little cranky,” The blue tiefling said, holding the animal up as proof. 

“That’s an understatement,” Nott said, taking a step back to avoid the small fangs.

“Little guy is pissed,” Beau said, inspecting the ferocious beast. “Surprised he isn’t dead yet after everything we’ve been through.”

“He’s fine!” Jester yelled, becoming a little defensive. “Right Sprinkle?”

The whirlwind of fur and fangs that was the weasel in her hands disagreed.

“Sheesh, maybe this plan is too mean,” Beau said as Jester struggled to contain the crimson chaos. “Caleb’s face would be scratched off.”

Jester did not respond and sadly returned the weasel to her hood.

“So, we’re done, right? Everyone get this out of their system?” Fjord said, eager to return to his nap.

“Actually, Jester hasn’t tried yet.” The monk said, looking at the cleric.

“Really?” Nott said in surprise. 

“I didn’t want to interrupt.”

“We’re well past that. Besides, I think he’s made it clear no one is going to get his attention,” said Fjord.

“I still want to try!” Jester said in a huff. “I can invoke duplicity or use spiritual guardians!”

“That would be hard to ignore,” Caduceus said, shrugging his shoulders. “But I suggest you start by calling him normally before you go crazy. Just to be nice.”

“Ooookay.”

“Go for it, Jester!” Nott said approvingly.

The tiefling nodded and rushed down the stairs toward the unsuspecting human. Hiding around a corner while keeping herself hidden as best she could while also keeping the wizard in her gaze. 

“Hey Cayleb,” Jester called out, hoping the wizard didn’t hear her so she could start having fun. 

When there was not an immediate reaction, she grinned and giggled, ready to solidify her plan. The trickster wove her magic and soon tiny hamster unicorns and an exact replica of herself popped into existence. 

_Alright, I can dance with the duplicate while the hamsters swirl around us. Then I’ll cast a guiding bolt at the couch so it starts glowing and-_

“Yes, Jester?” 

Caleb Widogast’s voice stopped her cold. Turning to look at her friend, the tiefling saw that the book had been set down, and the wizard was giving her his full attention. “Did you need something?”

“Oh… y-yeah,” Jester stumbled, suddenly embarrassed.

“What can I, oh tea,” Caleb said, picking up the teacup Caduceus set out for him and taking a sip. “It’s good. Did Caduceus make this?”

“You really didn’t notice?”

“No,” Caleb said, blinking twice. “I suppose I didn’t.”

“Well, it’s not just him,” Jester said in a huff as her hamsters and replica faded away. “Everyone’s been trying to get your attention.”

“Oh, I-I’m sorry,” Caleb flushed. “I had no idea.”

“Honestly Cayleb, be more aware of things,” Jester said, putting her hands on her hips in fake disappointment. “Beau was screaming at you, Nott pretended to shoot herself in her hand, Caduceus made you tea, and Fjord even called you his buddy!”

“That sounds very involved,” the wizard said with a nervous laugh. “I’m sorry I missed all that. I’ll have to apologize to them later.”

“That’s not all,” Jester said, walking over to the couch and sitting herself down next to Caleb. “Beau even wanted to drop Sprinkle on your head.”

“That probably would have worked,” Caleb said, scooting back so the tiefling would have more room. “Though how is Sprinkle doing these days?”

“How is he?” Jester said, confused. “He’s pretty angry today… but he’s been pretty angry a lot.”

“Well, let’s take a look at him.”

“Wait, really?”

“Only if you don’t mind.”

Jester paused but removed the critter from her hood after a moment. The weasel was a storm of fury. Wiggling and snarling, nearly escaping the cleric’s grasp entirely. 

“I don’t know why he’s so mad all the time,” Jester said, trying to avoid getting scratched. 

“Hmm, I’d imagine he’s hungry,” Caleb said, looking over the crimson weasel carefully. 

“But I fed him this morning.”

“How much?” 

“The… the usual amount,” Jester said, unsure how to answer.

“Weasels need to eat around 60% of their body weight daily,” Caleb said as he smiled gently and reached into his pocket and removed a small boba. “May I?”

“Uh, is that okay for him to eat?” 

“Ja, I’ve been doing my research,” The wizard said as he extended the boba toward the crimson carnivore.

Sprinkle spotted the boba and took a sniff of the item. Untrusting, but still hungry, Sprinkle reached out taking a tentative bite of the boba. The flavor was welcome enough for another bite, and then a third. Before long, Sprinkle was eating feverishly out of the wizard’s hand. 

“Woah, he really was hungry!” Jester said, watching her pet chow down. 

“We have a lot of boba, so this should keep him sated for a while.”

Once the feast was finished, Sprinkle stretched and let out a small yawn, his mood much calmer compared to before.

“Better?” Caleb asked, giving a quick scratch to Sprinkle’s chin, which the weasel happily allowed.

“Wow!” Jester said, her eyes lighting up in wonder. “Cayleb, that’s amazing! How do you know so much about weasels?”

“I’ve been reading,” The wizard said, holding up the book he had been concentrating on for so long.

“Wait, is that what the book is about?” Jester said, unable to hide her surprise as she placed Sprinkle back in her hood.

“Ja, weasel care specifically,” Caleb said flipping to the first page of the book the title reading _Weasel Care and You_ “I noticed Sprinkle was having a tough time lately, so I picked this up a few days ago. It’s a good read.”

“Wait, really?” The cleric said unable to believe that the book her friend had been so immersed in was about weasels. “But I thought I saw it say something about baths,”

“Baths?” Caleb said, confused for a moment. “Ah, perhaps it was this chapter.”

The human flipped a couple of pages back while the tiefling scooted closer to get a better look. 

“Here we are,” Caleb said, showing off Chapter 7: _The Finer Details of Bathing Your Weasel_

Jester snorted.

“What?”

“Oh, it sounds… never mind,” Jester said, chuckling at the innuendo. “But why are you reading this? I thought you were focusing on a magic book or something important.”

“This is important,” The wizard whispered. “Sprinkle is part of the Nein just like you and me.”

“You think so?”

“Of course, he’s important to you, yes?” Caleb said with a small smile. “So, he is important to m- us as well.”

“That’s, that’s really nice of you, Cayleb,” Jester said quietly, not noticing the stumble. “Thank you.”

“Just doing what I can. I haven’t finished it yet, but if you would like to read it yourself, it is yours.”

“You were reading it first I can wait until you’re done,” The cleric said getting up from the couch. “I’m sorry I interrupted you.”

“Not at all,” The wizard said, picking up his book again. “I’ll be here if you need me.”

Jester gave her friend another smile and turned to leave as Caleb began reading his book again. However, as the tiefling walked away from the couch, a curious thought fluttered through her mind. Looking back at the human on the couch, she could see her friend had regained his focus. Once again, he appeared to be deaf to the world and everything else that was not about weasel care. Her curiosity winning out Jester said the wizard’s name, her voice barely a whisper.

“Cayleb.”

Without delay, Caleb Widogast’s head popped up from his book, giving the tiefling his undivided attention. “Yes?”

Jester Lavorre’s face flushed as she stammered. “N-nothing!” and dashed up the stairs. 

“Well, technically the book had a chapter about hygiene in it,” Nott said to Beau with a grin.

“Yeah, for weasels! That doesn’t count and you know it,” The monk said, glaring. “You’re not winning the bet over a technicality!”

“I thought the screaming was going to end when we figured out what Caleb was reading,” Fjord said mostly to himself. 

“With this group, the screaming will never end,” Caduceus said with a kind smile.

Fjord slumped with a sigh.

“Anyway, that was excellent detective work, Jester. You solved the mystery of the mystery book.” Nott said as the tiefling rejoined the others. 

“Y-yeah, I guess I did,” Jester said, stealing another look at the wizard below.

“That’s it then,” Beau said as she stretched out with a yawn. “I’m going to take a nap.”

“Oh, really?!” Fjord said with a mocking tone. “A little tired, are we?”

“A little,” Beau yawned. “try to keep it down, will you?”

Fjord narrowed his eyes but said nothing as he stomped back to his own room, his bed awaiting him.

“If we’re done, I’m going to get a drink,” Nott said, heading downstairs. “Either of you want to join? They may have milk.”

“I’m alright,” Caduceus said. “Jester?”

“Huh? What?”

“Do you want a drink? Nott’s asking.”

“And Beau’s buying,” Nott grinned, jingling the monk’s coin purse that she had swiped. 

“No thanks, Nott,” The tiefling said before putting her hands on her hips. “You should give that back though.”

“Sure sure,” The goblin said waving the concerns away. “She still owes me a drink.”

Jester rolled her eyes but did not stop the rouge. Once Nott had left, Jester’s eyes began to wander back to Caleb, still reading on the couch.

“Would you like some tea?” Caduceus asked, breaking her out of stare. “I still have the pot on.”

“T-that’d be nice,” Jester said, a little surprised. “Thank you.”

The firbolg nodded and started making his way back to the kitchen but was stopped by a question.

“Hey. Um, Caduceus?”

“Yes?”

“When I was talking to Cayleb before, you saw that right?”

“I see everything,” The cleric said without a hint of sarcasm.

“Right, why do you think he noticed me when he didn’t reply to anyone else?”

“… why do you think?” 

“Um,” Jester said, her hands fidgeting. “He said that Sprinkle was important, so maybe he heard me because he knew Sprinkle would be with me?”

“That may be true,” The cleric said with a soft smile. “Though something tells me that even our resident weasel wouldn’t have gotten his attention the same way you can.”

Jester paused and began to think as her hand fidgets became more exaggerated.

“Having said that,” Caduceus said, his smile becoming a grin. “I think the real question you should be asking is why you were so interested in what he was doing in the first place?”

Jester’s eyes grew wide for a moment before they snapped back to Caleb. The wizard had not moved from his spot on the couch and yet to the blue tiefling, something had changed. 

“Let me fetch you your tea,” Caduceus said taking his exit, leaving Jester alone with a blush on her face that was as red as Sprinkle’s fur.


	2. Milk

**Author’s Note: Wow. I have to say I am really surprised and touched by the number of views the first chapter of Gestures got. As my first foray in writing a Critical Role story, I could not have asked for a better welcome. Thank you all so much!**

**As I said before I’m not planning on making a schedule for releases, yet I couldn’t stop myself and put together this chapter pretty quickly. Good news is that this one is light on potential spoilers. All the characters are from at the start of the campaign and the location is something I made up so no need to name a specific episode this time.**

**Once again, I have taken some liberties with the source material. This time with Caleb’s magic and the kill continuity of the Nein. Please, bear with me.**

**Thank you again for reading and I hope you have a lovely day.**

* * *

“Ugh finally!”

The groan carried Beauregard Lionnett and the rest of the Nein through the doors to the Rocky Start a bar/inn that looked as if it was built on a slant. Age had gotten the better of the building and while it seemed to wear its holes and patch jobs with pride that did not make for an inviting environment. Nevertheless, the Mighty Nein were more than happy to find a place to rest especially after the day they had.

“I never thought I would be so happy to smell grease and vomit,” Fjord said dragging his hand across his face in a small attempt to wipe away some dried blood. “I could sleep until next week.”

“You want to sleep without getting a drink first?” Nott said surprised already clutching her flask. 

“It’s possible to go to bed without alcohol Nott,” Fjord answered his tone dry.

“Maybe for you,” The little goblin girl replied taking a swig. “I can’t be the only one, right Caleb?”

“Ah, it has been a long day perhaps some other ti-”

“I want some milk!” 

Jester Lavorre burst into the Rocky Start with a flourish making a beeline for an empty table. 

“Glad one of us still has some energy,” Beau said walking past Fjord. “Come on a drink will do you some good.”

“Sleep would do me good.”

Despite the grumbles, Fjord and the rest of the Nein followed the blue tiefling blur as she secured a table. 

“Wait, where’s Molly?” Nott asked as she sat down. Her question was answered almost immediately as the others found the blood hunter already by the bar ordering drinks and rooms for the night.

“Someone’s feeling generous,” Caleb said settling into his seat. 

“I hope not too much, I’d like to get to bed before 4 in the morning.”

“Didn’t think you’d be such a wet blanket Fjord,” Beau said leaning back in her chair. “It’s been a while since we were able to sleep indoors. We should live it up a little.”

“Oh, forgive me for bleeding internally,” The half-orc snapped.

“Settle down children,” Mollymauck teased carrying a handful of drinks. “I bring gifts for all.” 

Each member of the Nein was passed a glass filled almost to the brim with a liquid that one could assume contained alcohol. Save for Jester’s who was given a hearty mug of milk. 

Sliding into his own chair Molly raised his ale up high and shared a wide grin to the table. “Here’s to another day of not dying.”

The smile was acknowledged by the group and answered with nods from Beau and Caleb, a Fjord grunt, a thumbs up from Nott who was already drinking and an excited “To not dying!” from Jester before chugging heavily from her milk. That was a mistake.

“Guh!” Nausea hit Lavorre from head to toe forcing her to spit up her long-spoiled drink all over the table. 

“Woah!” Beau shouted standing up out of her chair with her drink in hand to avoid the tiefling’s spew. “Watch it, Jester!”

“S-sorry,” The cleric coughed wiping away a mix of saliva and spoiled milk from her mouth. “I think this milk has gone bad.”

“Well, that’s no secret,” Molly said making very sure none of the beverage had gotten on his clothes. “I’m going to have some words with the bartender about this.”

“Ooh, maybe we can get a discount on the next round!” Nott said her eyes lighting up.

“Or we can beat the crap out of him and get beer for free!” Beau said her eyes lighting up just as much.

“No, wait guys don’t do that,” Jester said slumping into her seat. “I should have known that milk at a place like this wouldn’t be good.”

“Hey, you deserve good milk!” Beau said forcefully. “You killed like three of those guys that attacked us and healed Caleb’s papercut earlier! You did a lot today!”

“That’s right!” Nott said finishing her drink and joining Beau’s shouting. “We’re not going to let some barback get the better of us! We deserve better milk and more beer!” 

“Then our mission is clear,” Molly said standing up from his seat and enjoying the chaos. “We go and get our cleric the good milk because she worked hard today! Who’s with me?!”

Beau and Nott roared and started pushing their way to the bar. 

“Are we really looking to get into another fight?” Fjord said. “We barely survived the last one.”

“Don’t worry Fjord I’ll protect you,” Molly said with a sly wink. 

“I don’t need protection,” The half-orc said flatly. “I need a new kidney.”

Molly laughed and pulled Fjord out of his seat. “Come on you big lug, something tells me we’re going to need our face for this.”

The two left leaving Jester at the table alone, with Caleb Widogast.

“I hope we don’t get kicked out of this inn too,” The wizard sighed and took a small sip of his own drink. Which did not go down well. Coughing into his sleeve Caleb caught sight of the blue tiefling who seemed to be frowning heavily.

“Are you alright?” 

“I’m fine,” Jester said her frown deepening.

“Oh okay,” The wizard said looking around and slowly realizing it was just the two of them. “A-are you sure? You don’t seem fine.”

“That’s because I’m obviously lying Caleb!” Jester snapped crossing her arms in a huff.

“Oh,” The orange-haired wizard said backing up a little. “I-I’m sorry.”

Jester maintained the frown for a moment before it faded into a groan. “No, I’m sorry. I was just looking forward to this.”

“A drink? Um, if you want something to drink, I can give you my ale. It is not particularly good though.”

“No, that’s not what I’m mad about,” Jester pouted, sliding down in her seat.

“The milk?” 

The cleric nodded and slumped further down.

“Well, the others are getting you some more. Maybe it’ll be better this time.”

“I doubt it,” Jester said, sliding even further downward. 

“In that case, we’ll make sure we get some milk for you, next time Jester.”

“The milk’s been bad at the past two inns, and we can’t get any when we’re camping. I wanted some now.”

“You really like milk that much?”

“Of course I do!” Jester said, throwing up her hands and sliding further down her chair. “It’s delicious... and it reminds me of home.”

“Home?”

“My mom would give me a warm glass of milk before bed. It’s stupid, but I miss it.”

“That’s not stupid, Jester,” Caleb mumbled. “Not at all.”

At this point, the blue tiefling’s upper back was the only thing still in her chair as more and more of her disappeared under the table. She had lost sight of Caleb as she melted off her chair and onto the floor, her foul mood only growing worse. As she sat there under the table moping, she did not notice the shift in Caleb’s body or the words he spoke under his breath. In fact, she did not notice Caleb at all until he asked. 

“So, if you’re not going to have any of this, do you mind if I try some?”

“What?” Jester asked from under the table. 

“The milk,” Caleb asked. “Is it alright if I try some?”

“Caleb, that’s not a good idea,” The cleric said as she got out from under the table and back in her chair. “It’s really gross.”

“Gross? But I thought you said milk was delicious?”

“Yeah, normal milk, that isn’t normal,” The cleric said, pointing to the mug as if it were otherworldly.

“Maybe it got better,” Caleb said with a shrug of his shoulders. 

“Don’t do it, Caleb,” Jester said sternly. “You’ll just spit it up like I did.”

“You think so?” The wizard asked playfully. “I don’t think I will.”

“You will trust me,” Jester said, her stern demeanor fading a bit. “You don’t want to do this.”

“What do you think will happen if I do?” Caleb said with a little grin.

“I think your eyes will bulge out, your face will turn green, and we’re going to see what you had for breakfast this morning. It’ll be really gross and it’s going to get everywhere.”

“Well, that sounds unpleasant.”

“Yes, it will be very unpleasant.”

“… I bet you want me to drink this now anyway,” The wizard said, looking into the cleric’s eyes. “Am I right?”

“… yes,” Jester answered, unable to suppress a wide smile.

“Then here we go.”

Caleb lifted the mug to his mouth, already tilting his head as he readied himself for a large swig. 

“We have returned victorious!” 

Only to stop as the rest of the Nein returned with two large pitchers and several more mugs. Molly was already snickering about something, Beau was rubbing her hands as if she had hit something hard, Fjord looked tired, and Nott was swaying back and forth.

“We did it, Jester!” Nott said, sitting down next to the tiefling with a drink already in her hand. “We got better beer and more milk!”

“Wasn’t it supposed to be the other way around?” Jester said with a laugh.

Nott’s eyes narrowed as she thought about it for a moment before realizing her friend was correct.

“Fjord!” The goblin girl shouted. “Why didn’t you stop me?!”

“Clearly,” The half-orc sighed as he took his seat. “I can’t stop any of you from doing anything.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” Molly grinned. 

“Wish he had,” Beau said, massaging her fist. “Think I broke my hand punching that counter.” 

“Come now Beau, we wouldn’t have gotten our drinks if you weren’t intimidating enough,” Molly said holding up a mug. “Now we have more drinks than before and we’re still not dead. I call that a win.”

Jester peaked over to the pitcher that held the milk and took a sniff. Death filled her nostrils.

“Blug! That’s disgusting!” The tiefling said as she held her nose. “It’s even worse than the first one!”

“It’s still bad?” Fjord said, groaning. “Please tell me we’re not going back.”

“Hmm, no, but maybe this is a splendid opportunity to play a game I learned a while back,” Molly said gathering up the extra mugs.

“A game?” Jester asked excitedly. “What kind?”

“It’s simple really,” The purple tiefling said as he poured the sour milk into the mugs. “We hold up three fingers and go around in a circle while talking about something you have never done. If someone in the group has done the thing you are talking about, they must put down a finger. Lose all three and you have to drink.”

The Nein collectively shivered as the milk dripped out, more like a solid rather than a liquid. Before long, every mug was filled with dense milk.

“So,” Molly said with a wicked grin. “Do we want to play?”

“Why would anyone-” Fjord started before being cut off.

“I do!” Jester said excitedly. “This could be fun!”

“Of course, well count me out,” The warlock said, standing up out of his chair. “Getting food poisoning on top of everything we’ve been through is not how I want to close out the day.”

“What a surprise Fjord is scared,” Nott said, rolling her eyes. “The big green giant is running away from a cup of milk.”

“Scared?” Fjord asked, his eyes narrowing. “You calling me a coward?”

“Oh, I would never, Mr. Fjord,” Nott said her tone covered in mockery. “We all know how big and brave and strong you are.”

Fjord said nothing as his eyes narrowed deeper. Pulling his chair back, he sat back down and leaned in toward Nott. “I’m going to watch you drink that milk goblin. And then I’m going to laugh.”

“Bring it, big boy,” Nott said, matching Fjord’s intense gaze.

“That’s four,” Molly said loving every second of this. “What about you two?”

“Yeah, sure, sure,” Beau said still looking over her hand. “Is there a doctor here by any chance?” 

“No. Caleb?” 

“I don’t know,” The wizard said, turning toward the rooms upstairs. “It is rather late.”

“Come on Caleb!” Jester said, leaning toward him. “Stay with us!”

The wizard looked at the blue tiefling, her pouting face close to his. Caleb flinched back for a moment, but as he saw himself reflected in Jester’s eyes he softened. Then melted. “Alright.”

“Yay!” The cleric celebrated, returning to her seat.

“Excellent,” Molly said, passing out the mugs. “Then let the game begin.”

“I imagine Jester can use her drink from before,” Caleb blurted. “No sense in wasting more milk.”

“If she wants,” Molly said, putting up three fingers on his hand. “I’ll start. Never before have I punched a counter.”

“Wah, that’s clearly aimed at me!” Beau said while punching the table. 

“Didn’t say there were rules against that,” Molly smiled. “Now be a good girl and put down a finger.”

“You’re gonna pay for that,” Beau said with a hard glare as she went down to two fingers.

“I’m sure I will,” Molly answered with a devilish grin.

“Is it my turn?” Jester asked, bouncing in her chair. “Never before have I been smelly.”

“What?” Fjord laughed. “You’re saying you’ve never smelled bad before? Seriously?”

“Yep, I’ve been clean and perfect my entire life,” Jester said proudly. “Now put down a finger, all of you. You all smell.”

The rest of the Nein looked at Molly, who just shrugged and put down a finger. Everyone else followed suit.

“I swear to god if I have to drink this fucking milk someone is going to get punched,” Beau said looking at her remaining finger. 

“That is up to our wizard,” Molly said, locking eyes with Caleb. “It’s your turn, Widogast.”

“Oh,” Caleb said, looking over to Beau, who was glaring daggers at him. Then, as if he could not help himself, his gaze wandered over to Jester who stared at him expectantly. “Never before have I been blue.”

“Caleb!” Jester gasped. “How could you?!”

“You just called me smelly.”

“… that’s fair,” The cleric said as she went down a finger.

“Alright, my turn now,” Fjord grinned, looming over Nott. “Never before have I been a shifty-eyed goblin named Nott.”

“That’s not even creative,” Nott said, putting a finger down. “Never before have I been a smelly half-orc named Fjord with a stupid accent.”

“Is that your idea of creative?” The half-orc asked, putting a finger of his own down.

“Never before have I seen two people who needed to settle things in the bedroom more,” Beau said laughing.

“Shut up, Beau!” Fjord and Nott shouted at the same time. 

“Well now,” Molly said, smiling as he put a finger down. “You may have been kidding, but you got me.”

“What seriously?” Beau said surprised. 

“Maybe I’ll tell you about them one day but for now it’s my turn now,” The blood hunter said turning toward Jester and Caleb. “And I think it’s time to knock you two down a peg.”

The wizard and cleric shuddered as Mollymauk studied them both carefully before nodding to himself. Leaning forward just enough for the two of them to hear the blood hunter whispered.

“Never before have I yearned for someone from afar wanting to say more and instead said nothing.”

Jester flushed and peeked at Fjord, who was still growling at Nott. Quietly, she put a single finger down. 

“Always say something kids,” Molly said, smiling and leaning back in his chair. “You’ll be happier if you do.” 

“What in the gods name are you talking about Molly?” Fjord asked, realizing that a turn was taken without him noticing. 

“Don’t mind me,” The purple tiefling said while stretching. “Just sharing some wisdom.”

Caleb’s gaze met the blood hunter’s, and he was gifted with a sly wink. Caleb looked toward Jester, said nothing, and put a finger down. 

Jester missed this as she had noticed that all her friends only had one finger left, and it was her turn. “Wait, oh no. I don’t want to be the one to make you guys drink this. It’s so gross.”

“Sorry Jester,” Beau said with a shrug. “That’s the game, so who's it going to be? My vote is for Molly.”

“Um,” Jester said, thinking hard. “I’ve got it!” Straightening herself up, Jester proudly proclaimed. “Never before have I killed someone who didn’t deserve it.”

“That’s what you’re going with?” Beau asked with an eyebrow raised. 

“Yeah, see this way no one has to put a finger down,” Jester said with a smile. 

“Is that alright Molly?” Fjord asked.

“I mean, I guess. Don’t really remember killing anyone who didn’t attack me first, so doesn’t matter to me.”

“Beat up sure but I don’t think I killed anyone innocent,” Beau said, thinking carefully. “Wait, what about… no that guy just had a limp for a week.”

“I’m fine with it, and I don’t think Fjord could kill anyone if he tried,” Nott grinned.

“I will put you through a wall,” The half-orc growled.

“You’d have to be strong enough to lift me first.” 

“Yay! Nobody loses!” Jester cheered. “So now it’s-” She stopped cold as she saw Caleb Widogast looking at a closed fist. He had lowered the last finger and was just staring at his hand, which trembled slightly.

“Caleb,” Nott said, looking over at the wizard. “Are you alright?”

The wizard did not reply, the shaking in his hands slowly getting worse.

“Caleb?” Jester whispered while putting a hand on his shoulder.

“Ah,” Caleb said, the touch stiffening him suddenly while his hands tightened. Turning to see all the attention was on him he blinked rapidly as if coming out of a trance. 

“Oh sorry, I guess I’m… I guess I’m out,” The wizard said, forcing a laugh.

The table went quiet as the orange-haired human picked up his mug of milk slosh and raised it high. “Well, uh, cheers then.”

Closing his eyes tightly, his hands still quivering a little, the wizard prepared himself to swallow the filth. Only to be stopped when a quick blue hand grabbed his arm.

“Wait, hold on,” Jester said firmly. “That wasn’t fair of me.”

The wizard opened his eyes to see Jester staring at him. Her concern was easy to see. 

“I-it’s okay, Jester,” The human said, his voice coming out weak. “It’s just a game, right?”

She shook her head and forced Caleb’s mug back onto the table, easily overpowering the weak wizard.

“I should drink because I couldn’t come up with a good answer,” The cleric said, standing up and crossing her arms. 

“What?” Fjord said in surprise. “Jester, you don’t have to do that.”

“I’m going to anyway,” Jester said, certain in her decision. 

Grabbing her mug and placing a hand on her hip, the blue tiefling threw her head back and drank down the entire flagon in one swift motion. Her eyes were closed tightly as the rest of the Nein looked on in horror. Once the deed was done, she removed the tankard from her mouth and slammed it down onto the table, taking in a deep breath. The others watched their cleric breathe in and out as she slowly raised her head.

“It’s delicious.”

The next words out of Jester’s mouth were met with confusion and awe.

“What, what did you say?” Beau asked, leaning in to make sure she had heard correctly.

“It’s delicious,” Jester repeated, her own eyes wide with doubt. “It might be the best milk I’ve ever had.”

“That can’t be true look at it!” Nott said looking at her own drink. “I’m surprised it hasn’t melted through the table!”

“You sure you’re alright?” Fjord asked, looking over the tiefling carefully. “Nothing funny going on with your head or anything? We got beat up pretty badly today.”

“What? No, I’m fine and I’m telling you the milk is perfect!” Jester huffed.

“How can you say that when you’re the one who spit it out earlier?” Molly asked with a raised eyebrow.

“If you don’t believe me, then you should take a drink yourself!”

The rest of the Nein looked at each other in uncertainty. 

“Uh actually,” Caleb said, putting up his hands trying to calm down the situation. “There is a-”

“Try it!” Jester shouted, drowning out the wizard.

Ever the adventurers, the others aside from Caleb shrugged and drank from their mugs. To this day the Rocky Start has yet to see more vomit come out of one group than the vile puke the Mighty Nein expelled that night.

* * *

Later in the dead of night, the wizard of the Nein wandered away from the others. His dancing lights floated around him lighting up the dark forest his companions had chosen to rest in.

“We’ve finished setting up camp,” Caleb said as he found Jester on a nearby rock, her back turned to him. “Jester?”

“Is everyone still mad at me?” 

“No one is mad at you,” Caleb said with a sigh. 

“That’s not true,” Jester pouted. “We got thrown out of the inn because I made everyone sick and now, we can’t sleep in actual beds.”

“Well, that’s life on the road for you,” The wizard said, sitting down on the same rock. “Sometimes you get thrown out of places because your friends threw up too much. It happens to the best of us.”

“The bartender was a jerk about it too,” Jester said, folding her arms. “He was the one who sold us the spoiled milk in the first place we should have fought back.”

“I don’t think anyone was ready to fight the guards after our long day. Sleep will help our moods.”

“It doesn’t make any sense Caleb,” The cleric said, throwing up her arms. “Why did everyone else get sick from the milk but I didn’t?” 

“… perhaps it was a thank you.” The wizard fumbled. 

“A thank you?” Jester said, turning to look at her friend.

“… it’s only a theory,” Caleb said, rubbing the back of his head. “But what if the milk was transmogrified into something edible just for you? As a thank you.”

Jester blinked twice before her face lit up with joy. “Caleb! It was you?!”

“Hypothetically,” Caleb said with a brief smile. “Perhaps it started as a small gesture. Perhaps thanks for healing a certain paper-cut this morning.”

“Started?” Jester said slyly. “What is it now?” 

“Now?” The wizard said, pulling out a water skin and offering it to the cleric. “Now the theory is you deserve something more.”

Confused but trusting, Jester took a quick sip from the waterskin and found out it was the same delicious milk she had at the bar.

“How did yo-”

“I stole the rest of the milk in the confusion,” Caleb smiled. “Just like I’m teaching Nott some magic, she’s been teaching me a few things as well. I can preserve it easily enough, if it curdles or cools tell me, and I can fix it.”

Jester smiled and took another drink. “This is really sweet, thank you.” The cleric then shifted back and forth before she spoke again. “About earlier, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“No need to apologize. Believe it or not, I’m always a little uncomfortable,” Caleb said with a dark chuckle. “But I know you didn’t mean any harm from it.”

The blue tiefling nodded. “Okay, I… I don’t know a lot about you yet, so if there’s anything you want to talk about, I’m here for you.”

The wizard looked at her with eyes that always seemed on the verge of breaking. “Yes, perhaps I should say something.”

Jester waited as Caleb's hands began to fidget. “… I’ll tell you later, for now, just know I genuinely appreciate what you did today. Thank you, Jester.”

“You’re welcome, _Cayleb_ ,” The blue woman grinned, flashing her fangs. 

The sight of the smile and the way she said his name warmed the wizard to his core. The two held a moment together where no words were spoken. The only light between them came from the soft glow of the magic orbs. 

“Now then,” Caleb coughed. “Will you come back and help me apologize to the others?”

“I’m right behind you,” Jester said her smile still wide.

The wizard nodded and started making his way back. Jester’s grin grew even more as she held her gift tight to her chest. The milk was warm to the touch, most likely because of the fire in Caleb’s hands. It was a little hotter than the milk she used to have at home, but she loved it all the same. 


	3. Blanket

**Author’s Note: Hello all! Changing things up a little for this chapter. Instead of a completely original scenario, I am using part of an episode to help set the scene before I add some of my stuff to it.**

**So, you absolutely need to have watched episode 92 before reading this chapter. If you have watched this sequence a thousand times as I have, then you will know when changes happen, which is about halfway through.**

**As always, thank you so much for the comments and kudos! It's fantastic motivation and helps these snowy days feel so much warmer. I’m hoping the next entry will be up soon. Take care for now!**

* * *

She could feel his stare. Despite being flat on her back looking up at the night sky through the surrounding dome Yasha Nydoorin knew Caleb Widogast was looking at her. He had been doing that a lot lately, and she had no reason to blame him. 

“I-I don’t like sleeping,” She said, sitting up and turning to face the wizard.

“You don’t sleep easy?”

“I seem to be not very good at it lately. Some nights have been easier, but,” The barbican said, gripping her small blanket tightly. “I sometimes don’t like to go to sleep and possibly dream, you know?”

She tried to smile as if she could wave off the hours she had spent awake and alone with just a laugh. His stare saw through that.

“You have not been yourself for a while?” 

The question was an offer to explain. He had picked his words and timing carefully, choosing to give her a chance to unload what she carried while the rest of the party was asleep. It was an offer to pick up where they had left off after her pit fight. The one where she had let herself be beaten senselessly because she felt she deserved it. The question was an offer to explain to someone who would listen and understand.

“Yeah. I guess I’m trying to figure out what that is right now.”

She paused, thinking he would have something to say about that; he did not, and continued to stare.

“Things just feel a little weird, but I’m getting through it,” She said with a chipper tone forcing a soft smile while rocking back and forth. 

She was making light of it. Even surprising herself at how easy it was to bury her feelings deeper down. Smiles and mai tais would keep the status quo of the Nein, and she did not want to disrupt that with what she carried. 

“It’s fresh.”

But she was not dealing with the rest of the Nein, she was talking to someone who understood.

“… yeah,” She said, almost bowing her head.

She felt exposed in front of the wizard’s gaze. There was a heaviness in his eyes that she had seen during their travels. During battle, while studying, even when they were completely safe, Caleb’s eyes always seemed to be on the verge of breaking. Yet they remained resolute to hold everything in and away from the others. Now, with the same stare he had completely focused on her, Yasha knew she would not be avoiding this conversation. She shivered, feeling as if she was going to be interrogated, which might be for the best. She would run from anything less and she was tired of running.

“I hope I’m not being too,” She stopped for a moment, unsure how to continue. “forward in asking you this, but, how do you deal with it?”

He smirked. “Is it that obvious?” 

“I guess from someone who knows.”

She believed they had an understanding, but nothing beyond that. More companions than friends, she had been told something about him that explained his hard stare. A bit of his past had slipped out from Nott and while it was an accident, the knowledge weighed on her. Enough that if the wizard was going to offer a chance to talk, then the least she could do was come clean. 

“I’ve only heard things about, your past, but-”

She watched Caleb shift. Just that much was enough to cause him some pain.

“We don’t have to talk about it,” She added quickly. “I just-”

“Nott?”

“Yeah, I don’t remember, actually,” She lied with clenched teeth. Which the stare saw through.

“Nott.”

Silence grabbed them both as Yasha chastised herself for betraying the goblin’s trust. 

“Sometimes, I feel like two people.”

The barbarian stiffened as the wizard spoke, his voice tired but steady.

“I’m better with them,” He said, casting a quick look over the rest of the Nein as they slept. “And one of me is,”

He stopped as a groan escaped him, his skinny shoulders somehow slumping even further than they already were. For the first time since the conversation began, his heavy stare left Yasha and went to his hands. 

“My thing is old, so I guess I’m accustomed to it.” 

He took a deep breath to ready himself while his gaze returned to the barbarian.

“I thought we were similar when we first met. It’s not just, it’s not just Obann,” Caleb said his pace quick while he had the courage. “You have blood in your eye.”

_Just like you._ Yasha thought to herself as she matched the wizard’s stare. “Yeah.”

The silent understanding was given a voice, and Caleb bowed his head. He had recognized her eyes long ago.

“I’m sorry.”

Of all the ways this conversation could have gone, an apology from someone not involved with her past was not what Yasha had been expecting. 

“Why are you sorry?” 

Caleb paused while he searched for words. Which did not come easy. 

“I see hesitation and regret in you,” The wizard breathed out, his voice no longer steady. “And it is like a mirror,” Again, his stare failed him and returned to his hands. “I know regret, and I regret, I regret.”

Caleb’s form shook under Yasha’s stare, only calming down as he breathed in sharply and looked up.

“And unless my intuition is very off, you know regret.”

She did, and watching the wizard in front of her she saw what his regret had done to him.

“So, it never goes away?” Yasha asked, almost fearful of becoming the same.

“No,” Caleb said, his answer coming naturally. “But. It’s easier with people around you, to make you feel more like you.”

His words were a comfort, but they were spoken as if he himself did not believe them. 

“I feel a little bit like,” Yasha the barbarian breathed in and out slowly, feeling weak. “the forgiveness is almost harder to deal with.”

She clenched her teeth, her tone hard. “I feel like anger is an emotion that I know how to deal with, because that’s where I live.”

He nodded. 

“But I feel like, with everyone being so nice and accepting, I don’t know how to handle it.” 

Her voice nearly broke toward the end as she realized that her hands had become fists, nearly ripping her blanket apart. She relaxed, trying to catch her breath, but it was sometime before she felt strong enough to continue.

“I know I’m not handling it well, but I’m trying.”

The wizard did not answer, his eyes going back to his hands. Only then did the barbarian realize he had been fidgeting with a diamond. Turning it over and over and over and over and over and over and over in one hand.

“I don’t think we can,” Caleb said, still staring at his diamond. “But, while we are never going to wash our hands, we can use them.” The fidgeting stopped as he looked back up and at her. “To leave something better in the world.”

Yasha saw his hard stare strengthen as he spoke. “And maybe the curtain never rises from our eyes, but what else do we do? You either lose yourself to it, and forget, or you do your part.”

She did not have a response instead she could only watch in almost wonder as the man spoke. His past haunted him and would for as long as he was breathing. Yet, broken as he was, he had picked up enough pieces to make himself work and kept moving. It was heartbreaking and inspiring as the weak little wizard tried his best to smile. Tried his best to be a friend who understood.

“They’re pretty,” Caleb said, looking back to the rest of the Nein. “they’re pretty great.”

Yasha was about to agree because they were. The Mighty Nein had been her heroes rescuing her not just from Obann but from every day that felt overwhelming. Their forgiveness hurt, but Caleb was right. She could keep going if not for her then for them. Their talk, as short as it was, helped. She was about to say this, try her best to share, but before she could a small groan cut her off. 

The two turned toward the noise to see Jester tossing in her sleep. The blue tiefling appeared to be shivering slightly. Not from the cold as the surrounding dome provided the perfect amount of heat, perhaps just from an intense dream. Caleb immediately took his blanket and laid it over her, watching closely to see if that had helped. It had the extra covering being the exact thing the cleric needed to feel comfortable. With a small smile Jester snuggled herself deeper into the warmth of her new blanket, her shivers dissipating as if they were never there.

“We don’t deserve them,” The wizard said softly, resting his gaze on her sleeping form. 

The barbarian watched those same hard eyes soften, melting into a warm shade of blue. He lingered on Jester as his mouth curled into what looked like a smile. A charming smile she had not seen the wizard wear. Not the one he had given her that just served to help the conversation. This one was natural and full. Regaining himself, he turned back to Yasha, his eyes steeling themselves, ready to continue the conversation if the aasimar needed to. She did not, instead, she needed to know. The look Caleb had given Jester, she knew it all too well. She once saw it reflected in someone’s eyes long ago, eyes she missed every day. The question was asked before she could stop herself.

“Do you love her?” 

He was not ready for that. He was far from ready. The question hung without an answer for what felt like an eternity as Caleb’s eyes shifted from steel to blue and back again a thousand times over. 

“Who?”

He was terrified, not by the question but by the fact that he already knew his answer.

“I don’t need to tell you who,” Yasha said before realizing that the powerful wizard she had known was suddenly replaced by a small, scared, human. 

“I’m sorry, I--” She backtracked as she watched her companion begin to hyperventilate his breathing becoming complicated. “As someone who has lost someone that-” Yasha paused, nearly biting her tongue. “They love very much; I know how important it is to say things before it is too late.”

“It’s too late, Yasha.” His answer was swift as his eyes glazed over where the blue vanished entirely. “It’s too late.”

He seemed so certain. Just as confident as he was while casting magic every day, he was completely certain in what he said. Yet she knew what she saw, and again she blurted.

“Maybe not, I don’t know.”

Her words seemed to have little effect. Though they were enough for Caleb to reach out a hand to hers and pat it lightly. Though he could not even look at her while doing it. Without another word, he curled up away from the barbarian facing the outside of the dome, without a blanket. Suddenly it was her turn to watch him. 

He felt her stare on him and knew sleep would not come. He hoped the talk had helped her in a small way, yet he knew it had damaged him. He shivered not from the cold but from the knowledge that a part of him he believed was hidden had been seen. He had been seen caring, and that was not allowed, not for him. He expected a long sleepless night and was already making plans on how to better distance himself from the cleric. He felt her stare on him but failed to notice the anger that built in the barbarian. Which meant he was completely unprepared to be hosted out of his curl and dragged away from the dome. 

“Yasha?” Caleb sputtered as he was grabbed tightly and yanked onto his feet. 

The aasimar did not answer even as the two of them left the warm embrace of the dome. The magical covering flickered and vanished as Caleb was heaved along, leaving the others exposed to the elements.

“The dome-” The wizard started before he was pushed up against a tree away from the camp. A large hand smashed itself next to his head as the barbarian made certain he stayed in place.

“Why?”

Her question came out weak, but it did not stop Caleb from shaking from fear. An angry barbarian was a frightful sight no matter the context, but for Caleb, his fear stemmed from how close she stood to him, and how he could still feel her touch on his arm. 

“Why is it too late?”

“Because… it is,” The human said, hoping that was enough to get her to back off.

“No, I know what I saw,” Yasha gritting her teeth. “I was gone for a while, so I don’t know exactly what’s changed, but I know that look you gave her. You can’t just burn that away.”

He flinched, hating every part of this. “It’s nothing.”

“Don’t deny it. You can’t.” 

“Yes, I can,” Caleb whispered. “I’ve gotten good at it.”

“Why? What’s the point of just suffering?”

“Because suffering is all that’s left in me,” The wizard whispered. “I have nothing else to offer.”

Yasha looked down, her hand digging into the tree as she let out a soft whimper. “You said I was a mirror; do you think I have nothing left?”

“That’s not-” Caleb started before the barbarian’s other hand grabbed the tree, cutting him off.

“Aren’t you tired?” Yasha seethed, looking up to match the wizard’s stare. “Aren’t you lonely?”

The human’s cold eyes went wide as the aasimar went into a quiet rage, her strength multiplying enough to shake the entire tree behind him.

“She’s there, she’s right there, and you can say something to her. Anything, you have the chance.”

The tree rocked. 

“She’s not gone,” Yasha sobbed. “You could talk to her, hold her, love her. She’s not gone.” Thin lines traveled down as her face twisted in sorrow.

“… you’re crying,” Caleb said, tracking the tears on his companion’s face.

Lowering her head as if in shame, she choked out. “… one of us should.”

For a long time, neither member of the Nein moved as the barbarian quietly cried. Caleb was still trapped against the large tree and Yasha remained still as she struggled to get ahold of herself. Finally, she exhaled and released her hold of the tree, granting the wizard his freedom.

“I’m sorry,” Yasha said, wiping her eyes. “That was… wrong of me.”

Caleb did not answer immediately, but his shivers slowed and eventually faded.

“Thank you. For the talk,” The barbarian said, turning away. “I’ll understand if you don’t want to-”

“She’s the better.”

The voice was small and cracked, but it was enough to get Yasha to stop and turn back to face the wizard.

“She’s the better. She makes the world, a little better,” Caleb whispered. “And if I get too close, I’ll poison that.”

“You don’t-”

“I do, I hurt the things I care about. Eventually, I will hurt all of them.”

“Then why are you here?” Yasha breathed.

“To help in the ways I can, to do my part, and once I have. I can go.”

“Where?”

“It doesn’t matter. What happens to me, does not matter.”

The aasimar’s hands tightened, and she opened her mouth to argue, but that failed as Caleb Widogast regained his stare and fixated it on her.

“She matters. So, if there a point in our travels where both she and I are in danger and you can do something. You. Save. Her.”

His eyes had grown cold, and it was enough to silence the barbarian, but not for long.

“Do you think I could? Do you think I could condemn you like that?”

“I hope you can. I don’t deserve to be saved,” The wizard answered quickly. 

She went quiet for a long time, looking at the little human. His eyes were devoid of the life she had seen earlier. Yet she could not help but see a small tremble from the wizard. He was terrified, and she knew why.

“If we are as similar as you believe we are… then just like me I think you want to be,” Yasha whispered.

Caleb flinched and scratched at his arm. “No.”

“You matter Caleb.”

The wizard chuckled. “Words don’t make that true.”

“Then maybe this will.”

Caleb Widogast was not ready for the hug. As Yasha’s enormous arms wrapped around him, his mind and body recoiled in horror. Her touch made his skin crawl, and he quickly tried to squirm away. Yet he was far too weak to break out of the barbarian’s grasp and was forced to listen.

“You said we don’t deserve them and you’re right, but they’re here all the same. She is here. And maybe they could help us more if we let them in.”

Caleb’s struggles slowed. 

“I miss my wife. I miss her every second of every day. I know regret just like you. Yet, there is not one moment where I regret loving her.”

“I can’t. I would only hurt her.”

“… maybe, but you owe it to yourself to try. Maybe she’s strong enough to take it.”

“… I’m not.”

Yasha paused before tightening her hug. “That fight in the pit hurt. It hurt a lot, but there was a release to it that made it a little okay. I thought that is what I thought I needed to get back to myself. But tonight, feels better, much better than that fight. Because I have someone who cared enough about me to ask how I was doing.”

Yasha released the human who backed away like a wounded animal. 

“I’m sorry, but whether you like it or not, you matter to me, Caleb. Enough that I think you deserve some happiness. Or at least a chance to try.”

The wizard said nothing, his eyes still a blank slate. Only to flicker for a moment as a familiar voice broke the silence.

“Yasha? Cayleb?” 

Both members of the Nein flinched and looked over to the source of their names to see Jester standing there, two blankets draped over her.

“What are you doing? What happened to the dome?” She yawned, rubbing her eyes.

“I… I had to use the bathroom for a moment,” Caleb said, thinking quickly and walking up to her. “Yasha was keeping watch for me.”

“She was watching you go to the bathroom?” Jester said before giggling. “Cayleb, you shouldn’t ask a lady to do that.”

“Ah,” The wizard said, blushing a little. “T-that’s not-”

“You should apologize to Yasha for making her watch you poop.”

“W-what?”

“Come on Cayleb, she’s a lady and you made her watch you go number two. Now say you’re sorry.”

“Uh,” The wizard stuttered before slowly turning to the aasimar. “I’m sorr-”

“I’m just joking, Cayleb,” The blue tiefling said, cutting him off and nudging him a little. “You don’t have to be so serious all the time.”

“… ja.”

“Here, you look cold,” Jester said, taking off one blanket and throwing it over and around the human. “I had an extra one.”

He stiffened for a moment, but as his original blanket wrapped around him; he felt warm. It comforted him. “… thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Jester grinned. “Now let’s get back so you can make the dome. You know how Fjord gets if he doesn’t get his beauty sleep.”

Caleb nodded.

“Are you coming, Yasha?”

“… in a moment.”

“Okay, don’t catch cold.”

The barbarian watched the cleric and wizard march back towards the others. The human followed the tiefling wordlessly, but Yasha didn’t need him to say anything. She had caught another glimpse of his eyes. She would be on the lookout for that from now on. Perhaps try to help what he held in his eyes a reality. His offer to talk was kind, and even if he didn’t believe it, he deserved something in return. 

_You can think what you want, Caleb._ Yasha thought to herself. _But maybe it isn’t too late._

A flash of lightning crackled in the distance, catching her attention. She turned toward it just in time for a second blot to scatter across the night sky. It comforted her.

_For either of us._


	4. Dream

**Hi everyone! Hope you are all doing well these days, did you do something with your hair? Because it looks fantastic. Anywho, here is a new chapter that I wanted to get out over the weekend but didn’t because sleep.**

**Jokes aside the spoilers here are a bit scattered this time. There is a character here that isn’t properly introduced until episode 97 and the spells Caleb uses, and references are of a pretty high level. So, if you don’t want a minor character and spell spoilers this is your warning to stop.**

**With that said let’s get into it. Once again thank you all for reading this passion project of mine. It has been so much fun, and I’m really touched by all the attention this has gotten. I’ve still got a few more chapter ideas so I’ll be sticking around for the foreseeable future. Thanks again and take care for now.**

* * *

“Hmmmmm.”

She tossed, hoping a new position would help her ignore it. It did not.

“Hmmmmmm.”

She turned, believing if she could get a little more comfortable the feeling would fade. It did not.

“Hmmmmmmmm.”

She rolled completely around in her bed trying to think of something, anything else, that would allow her to go back to sleep. Nothing came to mind.

“Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.”

Jester Lavorre opened her eyes, already angry. She did not want to leave the nice soft mattress of the inn’s bed, she did not want to walk barefoot on the cold wooden floor, and she certainly did not want to have a light wake her up anymore than she already was. She wanted to go back to sleep, but nature called.

She scowled as she sat up, her hair as disheveled as she felt. Even Beau’s normally calming and steady snoring did not help her mood as she pushed off her blanket in a huff. 

_This is so stupid._ The tiefling thought to herself, her feet touching the icy floor. _Now I am never gonna get back to sleep._

Rising out of bed, she made her way to the door of her and Beau’s room and opened it. It was still the middle of the night, so most of the inn was dark, but there were several lit candles to help light the space up. This annoyed Jester greatly. 

Narrowing her eyes to avoid the light, she walked keeping a lookout for the floor’s bathroom. She shivered slightly, her nightgown doing little to combat the chill of the hall. As she made her way, the wood underneath her feet started to creak, only furthering her foul mood. Trying her best to quiet her steps as she made her way past the rest of the Nein’s rooms, Jester eventually came to the end of the hall. There she found the stairs leading down to the first floor as well as a door clearly marked ‘lavatory’. She pushed open the door only to find that this room was even more well-lit than the hallway. With an audible grumble, she closed her eyes in defiance, unwilling to let go of the progress she had made towards sleep. 

_Wait, what if I just keep my eyes closed the whole time? It’s just a straight walk back to the room so I can’t miss it._

Nodding to herself in agreement, the cleric proceeded with her business. To her surprise, it was easier than she suspected, just making sure she took her time with every part of the process. Before long the deed was done, and she hadn’t felt the need to open her eyes once. Feeling much better and ready to get back to sleep, Jester began making her way back. Using the wall as a guide the cleric inched her way along the hall, now determined to return without the use of her sight.

_Okay, this is Fjord and Caduceus room, here’s Yasha’s, here’s Caleb’s and Veth’s, so this one must be mine!_

Smiling to herself, Jester grabbed the doorknob and twisted, only for the knob to remain in place.

_Oh no! Is it jammed?_

Twisting again, the cleric frowned as the door remained closed. Her eyes still closed; she shook her head in anger trying to keep her rage quiet for the sake of the others. After a few anger flails of her arms, Jester calmed herself by breathing in through the nose and out through the mouth. 

_… let’s try one more time._

This time gripping the knob with both hands, she gathered her strength and twisted with all her might. A loud snapping sound echoed through the hall. While she couldn’t see it as her eyes were still closed, the cleric could tell that the knob had come clean off and rested in her hands.

“ooooh nooo,” She whispered, still holding the knob. 

*creak*

Hearing the moan of the door in front of her, she panicked and tried to find a way in. Thankfully without the knob to keep it closed the door had opened allowing the cleric to slip inside. Pulling the only knob, the door had left, Jester heard a soft moan coming from the bed to her left.

“I’m sorry, Beau,” She whispered her eyes still closed. “The door was jammed and I-”

The sound of loud snoring interrupted her explanation.

_Oh phew._

She tiptoed her way to the bed on the right and kneeled, rolling the doorknob under the bed.

_We’ll deal with that later._

Rising to her feet, she stretched and yawned in celebration of a job well done. Grinning to herself as she slipped under the covers of the bed in front of her.

_Who needs to see anyway? I got everything done and I’m still tired!_

Yawning again, Jester snuggled herself in and let exhaustion take her.

_Mmmm, the bed feels even warmer than before._

It was the last thought the tiefling had before she drifted off into a deep slumber.

* * *

Caleb’s alarm woke him before the doorknob was ripped off. A mental ping from the spell went off in his mind, rousing him just as the knob was turned only to be stopped by the lock.

 _Who is that?_ Caleb thought to himself while staring at the door through the darkness. _Can’t be the others it is the middle of the night._

The attempts to enter continued worrying the wizard even more. 

_The Assembly? No, doors would mean little to them, and whoever is on the other side appears to be having a great deal of trouble._

Listening carefully, Caleb could pick up some quiet groans of annoyance coming from the mystery person. 

_Perhaps a drunkard mistaking our room for theirs? If so, perhaps they will give up so-_

The thought died as a terrifying snap resounded out from the door. Now fully awake, the wizard’s hands came alive with magic ready to defend himself and the sleeping halfling one bed over. 

_Fireball would cause too much damage to the room and might hurt Veth. Magic missile is more focused, but the lack of power might not be enough to put them down._

Before he could finalize a decision, Caleb saw the door open again and whoever had broken the door slipped inside. The wizard’s heart rate quickened. 

_No helping it now. Disintegration. Let them get close, then make them regret it._

He slowed his breathing and tried his best to appear asleep. Keeping his eyes on the front of the room, he aimed a hand at the figure out from under his blanket. The magic he had gathered flickered in anticipation. Veth moaned, perhaps from the noise or from a dream. Caleb saw the invader’s head look in Veth’s direction and prepared to fire, only to immediately drop the spell when he heard a voice he could never mistake.

“I’m sorry Beau,”

 _Jester?_ The human thought as his hand recoiled in fear of what he was about to do. _What is she doing here?_

“The door was jammed and I-” The tiefling continued before a particularly loud snore from the halfling cut her off.

_Jammed? Jester the door was locked!_

Caleb shifted to get a better look just in time to see the cleric carefully tiptoeing her way towards his bed. 

_Wait, what is she doing now?_ He thought as his sight finally adjusting to the darkness of the room. _Why are her eyes closed?_

His confusion only grew as he watched his friend roll something under the bed. He rose an eyebrow as she stretched and silently laughed as she yawned. 

_Sleepwalking? No, I would have noticed during the nights we camp outside. Must have gotten lost or something._ Caleb sighed and opened his mouth to wake up his friend. “J-”

All thought stopped when she got into his bed. 

He immediately backed away, giving her almost the entire space. She took the bed’s blanket and majority of the pillow while scooting towards the center of the mattress. The wizard flattened himself against the wall as his heartbeat raced at a pace far surpassing the one before. His breathing disappeared entirely as she drew closer and closer until she stopped deeming this spot, just inches away from Caleb’s face, was the one she would sleep in. With another wide yawn giving the human a clear view of her bright fangs, Jester Lavorre fell asleep in Caleb Widogast’s bed. 

_What… what is happening?_

He did not get an answer, and as the seconds ticked by, he only grew more uneasy. 

_Calm yourself, this must be a mistake. Perhaps it is sleepwalking? It can develop naturally over time due to stress and many other facto-_

His mind slowed as he glimpsed her face. A bit of drool was making its way out of the side of her mouth and hair seemed to have a mind of its hair pointing in every direction. She had her head tilted so her horns did not get in her way or cut into the pillow. He wondered if she had done that at all in her youth. Momentarily forgetting the situation, Caleb lay there, melting.

_Stop. It does not matter why. What is important is that we remove ourselves from the situation._

The bed itself was not that large and pushed up against the wall the wizard did not hold many avenues for escape. Deciding the best path was to make his way to the foot of the bed and exit that way, the wizard inched his way out. However, already missing the extra heat Caleb produced Jester scooted even closer cutting off the wizard’s route and forcing him to close in on himself to avoid touching her in any way. 

_Alright… new plan._

Weaving his magic, Caleb cast telekinesis lifting the blue tiefling out of the bed and held her hovering in the air. Being removed from the warm bed had her shivering, so the wizard grabbed his blanket and covered the floating cleric. 

_Now then, let us get you back to your room._

Holding Jester still with one hand, Caleb opened the broken door and peeked out of the room into the hallway. Seeing no one, the wizard walked out dragging the sleeping cleric through the air with him. Creeping as quickly as he could, Caleb arrived at Jester and Beau’s room. With one hand on the knob, he twisted it and blinked twice as it refused to move.

_Huh… jammed… of course._

“Whatcha *hic* doing?”

Caleb nearly dropped the spell in surprise as he looked over to see a swaying dwarf holding a pitcher of ale in one hand.

“Ah, good evening,” The wizard nodded in greeting. “I’m attempting to get into this room but the knob-”

“Don’t tell me… it ain’t *hic* working?” The dwarf asked before taking another swig from his large jug. 

“That seems to be the case,” Caleb said in a whisper, trying to keep his voice down.

“Well *hic* let’s look at it,” The drunkard said chugging the rest of his drink as he walked up to the door in question.

“T-there is no need,” Caleb said, stepping back to get out of the way of the determined dwarf. 

“Nonsense *hic* it’s my… is that lady floating?”

Caleb’s eyes went behind him to where Jester continued her slumber, his outstretched hand still using telekinesis to keep her afloat.

“uh.”

“By my beard she is!” The dwarf said walking over to inspect the midair tiefling. “How is *hic* this possible?”

The dwarf reached out a hand, but Caleb raised Jester slightly up in the air to avoid the dwarf’s grasp. “Please don’t touch her, she is sleeping.”

“You’re *hic* doing that?” The helpful dwarf said, looking back at the wizard. “That’s amazi… wait, what are you planning on doing with her?”

“N-nothing!” Caleb said, his voice getting away from him before checking to see if he had awoken his companion. Thankfully he had not. “I’m just trying to get her back into bed and I’m not strong enough to lift her so-”

“A likely *hic* story,” The dwarf belched. 

“It is the truth,” Caleb said with a frown. “She is my friend and I just want to return her to her room.”

“Uh *hic* huh,” The dwarf said narrowing his eyes. “… tell you what skinny *hic* you stay here, and I’ll go get someone from the front *hic* help you get this door open.”

“That would be a help, thank you,” The orange-haired human said with relief.

“Yeah… you just stay *hic* right here.”

The dwarf dashed away with greater speed than one as hammered as he could normally do.

 _Must be an accomplished drunk._ Caleb thought before looking at his blue friend. “Quite the mess you’ve gotten me into Lavorre.”

Jester grinned in her sleep.

* * *

As the minutes ticked by, the wizard could not help but felt a little uneasy. 

_Should it be taking this long? He said he was just going to the front._

With no answer coming to him, Caleb’s mind wandered fair enough to remind him of the obvious. 

_I am a fool; I do not need anyone else’s help I can just cast knock and end this._

Chalking up his forgetfulness to lack of sleep, Caleb squared himself up with the door. As he prepared to use his magic, the one he had been weaving to host the tiefling up, faded. Ten minutes after he had cast telekinesis, the spell vanished, and gravity took hold of Jester. Realizing his error, Caleb reached out and caught her before she could hit the floor. Unfortunately, Caleb Widogast was not a man of strength and his feeble farm struggled to hoist the cleric up.

_This… this is getting ridiculous._

“I’m telling you he’s *hic* right down here.”

The wizard recognized the drunkard’s voice as well as the clank of heavy armor.

“Alright, Gimnid calm down. If he is up to no good, we’ll haul him off.”

“You’d *hic* better! No telling what that sketchy skinny is up to!”

_Guards? That is the last thing I need right now._

“Mmm,” Jester moaned as she shifted in Caleb’s grasp and wrapped her arms around his neck. Caleb could feel his face burn at her touch, his mind racing with conflicting emotions. However, he had no time to process. Doing his best, he struggled and made his way toward the door. Reaching up with the hand that supported Jester’s legs while making use of his magic, he cast knock and watched the door creak open. Slipping inside, he pushed the door closed with his back.

“So, where is he?”

The guard’s voice came through the door a little muffled but still loud enough to hear.

“He… he was *hic* right here a moment ago. He and the floating lady.”

“The what?”

“The tiefling, he had her here, floating.”

“… get some sleep Gimnid and stop drinking after midnight. Or just in general.”

“Hey *hic*… where are you going?” 

Hearing the danger pass, Caleb let out a breath he did not know he was holding. Only to inhale it quickly as Jester snuggled deeper into his neck. His flimsy arms wobbled, and he nearly lost his footing as her warm breath coated his nape. Swallowing all the salvia that had built up in his mouth, he awkwardly cast telekinesis again. Carefully he unwrapped Jester from himself and held her in the air as he tried to silently catch his breath.

 _This is not good for my heart._ Caleb thought, struggling to get his nerves under control.

Shaking his head and regaining his composure, Caleb looked around to the room to see if he could find which bed belonged to his trouble-making friend. It did not take long as the only other bed in the space was occupied by a snoring monk. Making his steps quiet, the wizard brought the cleric back over to her bed and softly lay her down. Dispelling the magic holding her, Caleb brought up Jester’s original blanket and tucked her in not even trying to remove his own from her grasp. 

_There we are, finally sorted. Better to leave now before anything else go-_

“Cayleb?”

His blood ran cold as he looked to the tiefling who stared at him with half-closed eyes.

“Is that you?”

“Ah,” The wizard whispered, unsure how to even begin to explain. He still had to try though. “Yes, my apologies but you mistook my room for yours. So, I brought you back here. By floating you through the air.”

“…that sounds silly.”

“…it was.”

“Oooooh, wait. I know. This must be a dream,” Jester said with a yawn.

“Y-yes, just a dream,” Caleb sighed grateful for the easy explanation.

“Well, at least it’s a good dream.”

“… and why is that?” Caleb whispered despite feeling like he should leave.

Jester smiled. “Because I get to see you.”

She took his breath away for a second. A full second where he did not know what to say. Of course, eventually, he could only focus on the hurt.

“I’m glad, though it nearly became a nightmare for me,” The wizard said kneeling next to the bed.

“Huh? Why?” The cleric said, focusing more on sleep than her response.

“I almost hurt you.” He said looking at his hands. “Almost.”

“Silly Cayleb,” Jester grinned. “You can’t hurt me. You’re too squishy.”

While her words were meant to comfort, Caleb did not feel it. He had nearly disintegrated her, and where would that have left him? Broken, finally broken beyond repair.

Despite being exhausted, Jester reached out with a hand and lightly pat the wizard on his head.

“Don’t be sad, Cayleb,” The tiefling said, her eyes glistening in the dark. “It doesn’t suit you.”

Caleb would have scoffed, but the calming warmth her hand on his head provided robbed him of words.

“Besides, you’re so much more handsome when you smile.”

“H-handso-”

“Goodnight dream Cayleb,” Jester yawned, retracted her hand, and turned over, digging deeper into her two blankets. Moments later, she was asleep.

The wizard stayed by her bedside, trying to get a handle on his feelings. 

_When someone touches me, it feels wrong. Like they are trying to peel my skin off. So, why is it that when you do it… it feels like I am being put back together?_

Caleb Widogast stayed there for a little longer, already knowing the answer.

“… sweet dreams, blueberry.”

* * *

“What are you doing Jester?” Beau asked while stretching. 

“Looking for something.”

“… under the bed?”

The cleric didn’t answer immediately as she took another sweep of the underside of her bed. Yet despite her many attempts, she could not locate the doorknob.

_Maybe the whole thing was a dream._

Crawling out from underneath the bed, she dusted herself off and shrugged her shoulders.

“So, did you find what you were looking for?” The monk asked while stretching out the stiffness of the night.

“No, but it’s okay.”

“Good, come on, let’s meet up with the others and get out of here. I need some breakfast in me.”

“Yes ma’am!”

Jester took one last scan of the room before giving up and followed Beau out the door. 

“Morning Veth,” Beau yawned, seeing the halfling in front of her door. 

“Morning,” The rogue answered without looking toward her friends, her gaze fixated on her door. “They better not make us pay for this.”

“Pay for what?” 

“Some nutjob took our doorknob last night.”

Jester’s eyes went wide. 

“Really?” Beau asked, looking for herself. “Woah, they ripped the thing right off.”

“Who takes just a doorknob? We should leave this town before anything else weird happens.”

“… Veth,” Jester said slowly. “This… this is your room?”

“Huh? Yeah, I shared it with Caleb. Why?”

“…….. which bed were you sleeping in?”

“The one on the left, Jester are you okay?”

_No, no, it can’t be._

The door they were all gathered around suddenly opened to reveal a very disheveled looking wizard, who yawned loudly. 

“Woah, you look like shit.”

“Good morning to you as well, Beauregard.”

“Did you not sleep well, Caleb?” Veth asked as she fussed over the wizard.

“I had a lot on my mind.”

“Well, if you want to add to that you can help us figure out what happened to your doorknob,” Beau said, crossing her arms.

“You mean this one?” Caleb said, revealing the knob in his hand.

“Huh? Why do you have it?” Veth said in disbelief.

“Would you believe me if I said it crawled into my bed last night?”

“… what?” 

“Don’t mind me just a joke,” Caleb said as he pocketed the doorknob. “I’ll inform the front and hopefully they won’t charge us extra for the damage.”

He then looked at the cleric whose eyes only grew wider as they met the human’s blue stare. “Good morning, Jester,” The wizard said with a nod.

“G-good morning, Cayleb,” The tiefling blurted out. “I-I am sorry you didn’t get a lot of r-rest.”

“That’s alright, I had quite the adventure instead,” Caleb said with a soft smile. 

Without another word, the wizard turned and started walking down the hall.

“That guy is so weird sometimes,” Beau said as she watched her companion leave. “Plus, a smiling Caleb is never a good sign.”

“Don’t say that,” Veth said lightly smacking Beau’s side. “He’s probably still sleepy. Besides, I think his smile is very charming. Right Jester?”

Veth turned to look at the cleric who was holding the sides of her face with both hands, trying and failing to contain the fierce blush dousing her face.

“Jester?”

“… I am never closing my eyes again.” 


	5. Touch

**Author’s Note: It is amazing how easy it is for work to get in the way of the things you really want to do.**

**Hi everyone! It has been a minute/weeks, but I am back with a new chapter and not just any chapter, the longest chapter so far!**

**That is because for this entry I wanted to plan out a mini adventure for these two and try my hand at writing some combat. This means this chapter includes descriptions of blood and violence. If you are sensitive to that, please, take this warning to heart.**

**The other thing to note is that while this chapter does not have any significant story spoilers the abilities used here were limited to level 7. So, as a fun game if you can name all the spells cast in this chapter you shall earn my eternal respect and admiration. Which is equal to absolutely nothing but hey I’m just having fun.**

**Thank you for reading and giving me some of your time and attention! Hoping the next chapter will come out a little sooner, take care for now.**

* * *

He had his book; he had time, and settling down in the shade of a tree not too far from camp he had his spot. Caleb Widogast leaned back into the soft bark of an oak and breathed in deeply. The clean air of the open field filled his lungs and even brought some small peace as well. With a flick of his wrist, he summoned Frumpkin and smiled as the Bengal cat appeared right beside him. The fey familiar shook its head and stretched out its back before looking at its master with wide eyes. Silently Caleb pointed to the back of his neck. That was all the instruction the cat needed to leap onto the wizard’s shoulder and wrap himself around Caleb’s throat like a scarf. A steady stream of purrs and warmth gave the orange-haired human everything he needed at the moment. Opening his book to the first page, he was completely content.

“Caaaayleb.”

But there was always room for improvement.

“Caaaaaaaaaayleb.”

Jester’s call roused him out of his trance, and the book was lowered. He tracked her just at the bottom of the hill he had found his tree at. She seemed to be looking for him and had grown a little frustrated she had yet to find the wizard.

“Want to point her in the right direction?” Caleb asked his scarf.

Frumpkin’s purrs paused as the cat let out a quiet yawn. A moment later, the cat leaped off the human’s shoulder and started marching toward the tiefling. Passing through the green grass as an orange streak, it did not take long for the fey summon to reach the bottom of the hill and sit at attention close to the cleric’s feet.

“Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa- oh Frumpkin!” Jester said, picking up the Bengal familiar. “Do you know where Cayleb is?”

The cat tilted his head towards the top of the hill where Caleb sat. Locking eyes with the wizard, Jester beamed and began to wave. He waved back.

Placing the familiar on her head Jester dashed up the hill running as fast as she could nearly slipping due to some loose rocks. Eventually, she made it to the top and placed one hand on her hip while the other pointed at Caleb.

“There you are!”

“Here I am,” Caleb replied with a nod. “What can I do for you, Jester?”

“Did you forget? It’s your turn to get the firewood,” The cleric said while removing the cat from her head to give it a quick scratch.

“Firewood? Didn’t I find some three days ago?”

“Did you?” Jester said, thinking to herself as she sat down and cradled Frumpkin. “Oh, wait, you’re right, then whose turn is it?”

“I believe it is yours.”

“Wah, seriously?”

“I believe the order is Fjord, you, Beau, Caduceus, myself, Nott, and then Yasha, Am I wrong?”

The tiefling growled and narrowed her eyes. “…no.”

“Then I wish you the best on your search,” Caleb said, raising his book back up.

Jester pursed her lips in a silent pout, her Frumpkin scratches intensifying. Though amid the loud purring, a devilish grin took to the cleric’s face.

“Oh, Caaayleb.”

“Yes, Jester?” The wizard answered his book, still his primary focus.

“How did you get so good at magic?”

“Practice mostly,” Caleb said while turning a page. “Why do you ask?”

“I just wanted to know how to get as good as you,” The tiefling said, giving the cat another scratch. “You’re so strong and powerful after all.”

“Flattery will get you nowhere,” The wizard said with a smile, though that was hidden by his book.

“It’s not flattery if it’s the truth, right?” Jester said, holding and angling Frumpkin in front of her face. “And a big strong wizard like you would have no problem collecting firewood, right?”

Caleb quietly chuckled, but the book hid that as well. “Don’t complain Jester everyone has to do their fair share.”

“Maybe we should ask Frumpkin what he thinks.”

“What? Frum-” At last the orange-haired human lowered his book to see his familiar inches from his face.

“Come on, Cayleb,” Jester said as she moved the fey summon back and forth as if it was the one talking. “Don’t be such a sourpuss.”

He snorted. He did not do it on purpose, of course, but the sight of Frumpkin with the voice Jester used was certainly not suited for the fey familiar shook it out of him. The sound only spurred the tiefling on more.

“Think back to all the times Jester healed you,” Frumpkin continued. “She works hard, don’t you think she deserves a break?”

“That is true,” Caleb laughed while addressing the cat. “She has certainly kept me on my feet.”

“Yep, without her, you’d be hurt a lot more often and neither of us wants that.”

“I agree, it’s hard to imagine we would have gotten this far without her.”

“Sooo, doesn’t that mean you should-”

“However,” Caleb said, interrupting the talking cat. “Jester is part of the Nein. She agreed to the schedule just like the rest of us. To go against that just because she doesn’t feel like it would only hinder the group in the long run.”

“Y-yeah, but what if it’s just this one time?” Frumpkin asked, slipping over the words.

“Can you guarantee that?” The wizard asked with a raised eyebrow. “Say a few months from now we’re in the same position we are in now. What do I do then? Give her another pass?”

Frumpkin went quiet for a moment.

“Having said that,” Caleb said while closing his book. “I cannot deny we owe her a lot. So, in the spirit of compromise instead of doing Jester’s chores, I will help her with them.”

“Really?!” Frumpkin said in surprise.

He nodded, snapped his fingers, and pointed to the back of his neck. The familiar squirmed and broke free of the cleric’s hold. The cat crawled up to Caleb’s throat and once again wrapped himself around like a scarf.

“We should get going,” Caleb said while standing up. “It’s nearly 4:00 we’ll be losing daylight soon.”

“Alright,” Jester said, standing up as well. “Thank you, Cayleb.”

“Just spot me some coin for paper if I need it and we’ll call it even,” The wizard said as he started making his way down the hill.

“Of course,” Jester said with a wide smile. “Looks like flattery did get me somewhere.”

“Don’t push it, Lavorre,” Caleb smirked. “You’re already on thin ice.”

* * *

The forest the Nein had chosen to rest in was a large one. They were only passing through and had not taken the opportunity to explore. So Caleb and Jester took their time hunting for the wood needed for the fire and fires down the road. While the next handful of hours passed quickly. The search for firewood was slow going. Despite Jester’s enthusiasm at the start, the cleric felt worse as the hunt went on.

“I’m sorry, Cayleb,” Jester said lugging her share of the firewood.

“What for?” The wizard asked as he carried his.

“I didn’t think this was going to take the rest of the day,” Jester said looking up to the sky as the evening had started to fall. “I knew you had a book you wanted to read, and I feel like I tricked you into helping me.”

“You certainly didn’t trick me,” Caleb said while carefully stepping over a rock. “I was the one who relented. If I didn’t want to be here, I wouldn’t be here.”

“Oh?” Jester said, wiggling her eyebrows. “Does that mean you’d rather be helping me collect firewood than reading?”

The wizard cleared his throat.

“Aw, you must really like me, Cayleb,” Jester said playfully.

“I care for everyone in the Nein,” Caleb said, trying to keep his voice steady.

“You’re just a big softie, aren’t you?” The tiefling chuckled.

The orange-haired human did not answer, but he could feel the razor-sharp stare of Frumpkin on him.

“Ah! Found another one!” Jester said, reaching down to pick up a dead branch and adding it to her collection. “Do you think we have enough?”

“For two fires at least,” Cayleb said, counting the branches in his own pile. “We should rejoin the others. It’s getting dark.”

“Okay, what do you think dinner is going to be?”

“Fjord was saying he found a river nearby and seemed very excited about fishing,” Caleb said, trying to focus his eyes through the darkness of the forest.

“Fish again?” The cleric was a soft sigh. “Didn’t we have that yesterday?”

“Man loves the water,” The wizard answered, looking at her while walking forward.

“I guess, but I wanted something el- CAYLEB!”

Jester saw it first, thanks to her dark vision. Perhaps Caleb would have noticed it if he had not been enjoying the tiefling’s company. With his focus on her, always with her, he did not see the ogre’s club swing at him until it smashed into his side.

The blow was powerful enough to knock him off his feet and sending him sailing through the air, his collection of branches scattering in every direction. As he crashed into the side of a nearby tree, he knew his right arm and multiple rips were already broken. Every sense he had blurred as pain gripped him. Yet, his eyes were still sharp enough to see the ogre approach him. It was a giant of massive size, carrying a sturdy club and light armor crudely made from animal skin. The hulking creature roared when its hit landed, shaking the trees in the area. Fear took hold of Caleb while a thin trail of blood dripped down from where he had hit his head. It was a mystery how the creature had snuck upon them, but now was not the time to nitpick. Not when the monster charged its club held above its head, ready to swing.

“Cayleb!” Jester screamed, throwing herself between the wizard and the beast.

Dropping her stick pile, her magic flowed freely as her hands were already glowing green. Slapping them together and then slowly separating the tiefling’s magical light shimmered before congealing together to form her spiritual weapon, a giant lollypop. Gripping the weapon’s handle with both hands, she held it up just in time to stop the ogre’s attack from crushing the human behind her. The impact drove Jester down to one knee, her arms shaking from the swing. The monster howled at the cleric and raised its club back into the air, preparing to strike again.

“Jester! Down!”

She did not have time to see what Caleb was doing but trusted him enough to follow his advice without question. Flattening herself against the dirt, she saw three magic-fueled missiles fly above her head, aimed right at the ogre. The orange streaks of magic lit up the dark forest before colliding with the giant’s wide body. The force behind the spell reverberated through the ground, sending the beast stumbling backward.

Jumping back onto her feet, Jester tossed her lollypop into the air and send it swinging at the ogre. Immediately after her hands lit up again with magic as she crafted multiple hamster unicorns popping in existence like tiny fireworks.

“Attack!”

With a war cry, only hamster unicorns can make the guardians rushed the ogre, piercing the hulking beast with horns from multiple angles. The onslaught of the colorful lollypop and shining hamster unicorns pushed the monster further backward as it swiped at its attackers with hand and club. With the beast distracted Jester turned back toward Caleb who had inched his way back to his feet using the tree he had crashed into as support.

“Cayleb, are you okay?”

“I’ve been better,” The wizard coughed, holding his right arm tenderly. His elbow had taken the brunt of the swing and had shattered, bending the entire limb at an awkward angle.

“I-I can heal you,” Jester said, reaching out with both hands already clothed in soothing magic.

Caleb hesitated for a moment, but nodded and offered her his broken arm. Holding her hands just above the limb, the cleric immediately started work on curing his wounds.

“We should run as soon as we get the chance,” The wizard said, wincing a little as the cleric nursed him.

“Yes, I can contact the others with a sending,” Jester said, completely focused on mending Caleb’s arm. “Our camp isn’t that far we can-”

He shoved her away before she could finish, and she did not understand why until she saw the boulder land on him.

BOOM

The force of the tossed rock knocked her off her feet and onto her back. Scrambling upward, Jester stared at the large stone that crashed into the tree Caleb was leaning on. A high-pitched whine started ringing out in her head as she began to put together what just happened. The ogre threw a boulder; she did not see it, Caleb did, he pushed her away; it missed her; it hit him, Caleb is under the rock.

“…. Cayleb?”

No answer.

“Cayleb.”

Nothing.

“CAYLEB.”

A loud bellow from the monster brought her back. Taking another swipe at the magical guardians swirling around it before locking eyes with the tiefling. Finally, disregarding the hamster unicorns and lollypop, it marched towards the cleric. As it walked, dirt and small rocks were shaken out of the ground with every heavy step. It growled as its grip tightened on its weapon, the sound like deep scratches cutting through the forest. The growl then morphed into another roar as it charged.

Standing up, Jester screamed back, and she was louder.

The ogre recoiled as the tiefling’s shriek transformed the very air around it into ice. Surprised at the sudden rebuke of the freezing shout, the beast faltered.

“I’LL KILL YOU!” Jester wailed while dashing at the creature.

Shaking off the cold, the ogre grunted and smashed down at the cleric with its club. The weapon landed on the ground with a loud crack, but it missed its target by inches. Jester reached out with her hands already dyed a sickly green. Ramming both into the monster’s stomach, her magic pulsed and fed dark energy into the beast’s body as Jester used all of her power to inflict numerous wounds.

The ogre coughed out a lungful of blood, but it was not enough to stop it from swinging its club again and connecting against the cleric’s side. The hit sent Jester flying into the ground, bouncing once before skidding through the dirt. Coughing and shaking her head to stop the pounding, she tried to get a sense of her surroundings again. She gathered her thoughts in time to see the enemy running at her, its weapon held above its head. The tiefling snarled with adrenaline pumping through her. Yet as angry as she was Jester noticed that the giant’s dash had slowed, while still sprinting at the tiefling as fast as it could the ogre moved as if it were stuck in quicksand, its movements now sluggish and unhurried.

_What? What is happening?_ Jester asked herself before a new sound grabbed her attention.

“Meow.”

Looking at her feet the cleric saw Frumpkin there, the bengal cat looking at her with wide eyes.

“Frumpkin? You’re here? Wait, then-”

The familiar didn’t wait for Jester to finish and started running towards the thrown boulder. Chasing after the fey summon without question, Jester returned to the large stone and noticed it shifting, just a tad.

“CAYLEB!”

Gripping the rock, she shoved it with everything she had and let it roll away, revealing a very hurt wizard.

“Cayleb!” Jester cried out, kneeling next to him. “Cayleb.”

He coughed instead of responding his eyes barely open but completely focused on the ogre. His magic was working as intended as it slowed the beast’s movements to a crawl. Frumpkin pattered over to the wizard before vanishing into the air, its mission completed.

“Jester… I need you to go into… my pocket,” Caleb coughed. “Pull out… bat… guano and sulfur… I… can’t… do it by myself.”

“Bat guano and sulfur got it,” The cleric said quickly, trying to keep focused. She nervously reached into the wizard’s bloody jacket and started her search. She could feel many other items stashed away in the small coat pouch, but she knew what to look for. The problem was that the wizard’s body was barely keeping itself together. Battered by both club and boulder had left Caleb near death’s door, the sight almost paralyzing her entirely.

“Q-quickly.”

Flinching the tiefling grabbed and pulled a handful of items and showed it to her friend. Breathing softly, he eyed a small ball of goop.

“… that, h-hand.”

Taking the ball and placing it into Caleb’s open palm, she returned the other items to his pocket. As soon as she had, another mighty roar caught her off guard. The ogre had broken out of the slow spell. Jester panicked and looked back to the wizard to see if he was any closer to being ready. He seemed to be struggling with lifting his arm to properly aim at the ogre.

“I can help,” Jester said, reaching for the limb.

“W-wait… don’t, touch.”

“What?”

He looked almost more frightened of the idea of her touching his arm than the threat of the ogre.

“I’m sorry, Cayleb, I have to.”

Jester grabbed Caleb’s arm and lifted it, squaring it up with the now charging ogre. She could feel the wizard’s shattered bone in her grasp. He moaned through the pain as she held his arm still; it seemed so frail at this point; it was a wonder it was still attached to him at all. Then the arm grew warm. As if molten lava replaced his blood, Caleb’s arm lit up with magic. Sulfur and bat guano melted away as a surge of power ran down the limb until it centered and gathered in his palm. He held a ball of fire in his hand, slowly feeding it every ounce of strength he had left.

The ogre’s dash at the two continued. Easily ignoring the bright light of the fireball, its dim mind more focused on killing the tiefling and human, instead of the grave danger it was in.

“Burn,” The wizard whispered softly enough that only the cleric next to him heard before he fired.

The ball of flame shot out from the outstretched hand, flying at the monster before hitting it square in the chest. A moment later it detonated. A bright light exploded out momentarily banishing the dark in the forest. The intensity of the sight forced both Caleb and Jester to shield their eyes. A fire erupted out covering and instantly swallowed up the beast, bathing it in flames and burning away at the giant’s skin. The force of the spell cut a crater into the ground, acting as a freshly dug grave as the monster fell onto its back, more ash than ogre.

“You did it!” Jester exclaimed, looking at the dead beast with a grin already on her face. Turning her attention back to the wizard, her eyes grew wide as she realized the loss of blood had knocked Caleb into unconsciousness.

“Hang on Cayleb, I’m here.”

The cleric began the healing process, coating her friend in a gentle light stemming from her hands.

“Just a little more and then we can-”

A familiar roar cut her off. The sound of giant footsteps echoing through the trees had her shaking and the sight of four more ogres revealing themselves cut her breath short.

The pack of monsters growled together as they noticed their dead companion. With narrowed eyes they let loose another shout, sending Jester into a panic. Throwing Caleb’s broken arm over her shoulder, she lifted the wizard and moved as quickly as she could.

“aaaaah,” Caleb weakly groaned, the sharp ache waking him.

“I’msorryI’msorryI’msorry,” Jester stammered, dragging her friend with her.

She moved through the trees holding onto the orange-haired human trying to lose her pursuers. Yet these were not her woods, and she did not know where to flee. The ogres barreled through, knocking over stone and tree alike in their pursuit. Even without looking behind her, the tiefling knew the beasts were catching up.

“Jester.”

“Just hold on Cayleb,” She said, completely focused on running. “You’re going to be fine.”

“Jester.”

“We can make it Cayleb we just have to-”

“Leave… me.”

Her voice died. She could hear the crowd of monsters getting closer, but it took her some time before she could respond.

“I’m not going to do that.”

“You… have to,” He wheezed out, his breathing uneven and weak.

“I’m. Not.”

They continued as the sound of trees breaking under the mad dash of the ogres rang out.

“Dammit, dammit.”

“It’s alright Jester… It’ll be alright.”

“Stop it, Cayleb!”

“It’s for the… best.”

“Stop it!”

The sounds grew closer.

“I’m… okay with this.”

“STOP TALKING!”

“Better me… then you.”

“ **STOP!** ”

Darkness flickered through Caleb’s vision and a strange sense of peace enveloped him, as the tiefling tried her best to save him. It surprised him, and despite her touch, he was content.

“I… want you to live.”

It was the last thing he whispered before he faded away, ready to accept whatever came next.

* * *

The sound of falling rain roused him.

_… Alive? I’m alive?_

Trying to make as little noise as possible, Caleb let his eyes adjust to the dark he found himself surrounded in. Looking around, it became clear he was in a small cave with an entrance not far off while someone had propped him up against the cave wall.

“Jester?” He asked the cave, but it provided no answer.

A soft ache rang in his head. He attempted to rub it away and discovered his wounds had been healed. His battered arms had been mended, and his ribs were repaired.

“Jester?” He asked again, knowing that the only one who could have healed him was the blue tiefling.

Again, he only received silence as a response. Now worried, he carefully got to his feet, leaning on the wall as he did so. His legs were sturdy enough to support his weight but stiff, making his walk to the cave’s entrance slow. At its edge, he got a good look at the downpour covering the forest. It was still the middle of the night and the rain fell fast and heavy. He was still uncertain how much time had passed, but the evening had long slipped by and the rain had brought in the dark of night.

“Jester.” The wizard called out again into the rain a little louder than before. Yet the falling water deafened his voice.

Caleb’s heart raced.

“Jester!”

Lighting flashed overhead and followed by the rumble of thunder, he was completely muted.

“JEST-”

“Ssssssh!”

He was hushed by a dark hooded figure he did not notice. They were carrying several things in their hands, forcing Caleb back into the cave in the fear that it was a weapon.

“You are being too loud.”

His nerves tensed for a moment, but the figure’s voice immediately calmed him. He could not mistake it for anyone else. Jester lowered her hood with one hand and shook the rain out of her hair. In her other hand, it surprised the wizard to see a new bundle of sticks.

“We have to be careful, Cayleb,” The cleric said taking an extra look outside. “I found some more firewood, but it’s pretty wet.”

She dumped the spoils of her search in the cave’s center. “Can you still make a fire?”

“… shouldn’t be a problem,” Caleb said, hovering a hand over the small pile. Within seconds, the wood was ablaze, and the pair had heat and light.

“That’s nice,” Jester sighed, taking off her soaked cloak and laying it near the fire. “How are you feeling?”

“Good seems like everything is working as it should,” Caleb said while sitting down next to the burning wood. “And you?”

“… I’m fine. We’re safe for now and that’s what matters.” Jester answered, rubbing her hands together and holding them over the open flame. “I contacted the others and told them what happened. It’s too dark and raining so we will spend the night here then find them in the morning.”

“Understandable,” The wizard said quietly, adding more magic to the fire to help warm the cleric a little faster. “How did we escape?”

“I prayed to the Traveler, and he helped.”

“Really? How?” Caleb said with no small amount of surprise.

“I’m not 100% sure actually,” Jester said with a little frown. “It was like he opened a magic door and when I carried you through it, we were further away than before.”

“A dimensional door.” The wizard said softly. “Fascinating.”

“I guess, I’ve never done that before. It was easy to lose them in the dark after that. Then I found this cave, healed you, and started looking for some stuff to build a fire. It started raining not that long after.”

“Then I owe you my life once again. Thank you, Jester.”

The cleric did not answer. Instead, she sat down and stared at the fire between her and Caleb. Her eyes tracked the crackle of the wood and before long a tense silence grew between the two.

“Are you alright?” Caleb asked with obvious concern.

“……… you scared me.”

Jester hugged her knees as she continued to stare at the burning wood.

“… you really scared me.”

“That was not my intention.”

“You sounded like you were relieved,” The cleric said, her voice shaking slightly. “Like dying was something to look forward to.”

He did not respond.

“Why did you say, ‘better me than you?” She asked, finally looking up from the fire. “What does that mean?”

“… it’s,” He paused getting lost in her stare while trying to think of a way to avoid this conversation, but he could not. “… it’s just the truth.”

“The truth?”

“At the moment, I believed you would have a better chance of surviving if you didn’t have to drag me as well. So, the rational thing which I suggested, would be to leave me behind. Thankfully, I was wrong, and it seems the Traveler saved the day once again.”

He was hoping bringing up her friend would distract the cleric, and perhaps they could spend the night talking about how amazing the Traveler is.

“Cayleb,” Jester said, her gaze never wavering. “You’re avoiding the question.”

“… so I am,” Caleb said, shifting uncomfortably. “I… am not fond of me.”

“Not fond?”

“Yes, there are… events in my past that make it difficult for me to sympathize with who I am. Death is not something I fear, I feel it is something I deserve.”

“I don’t understand,” Jester said carefully. “You don’t like yourself?”

“… hate would be the better word,” Caleb said, scratching his arms.

“H-hate?” Jester said, his voice wavering a little. “Why?”

“There are many reasons,” The wizard said, lowering his head to look at his hands. “Hard to pick just one.”

“Does, does it have anything to do with why you didn’t want me to touch you?”

It was a simple question and one he should have known was coming, but it still hurt.

“There… touching is… I don’t care for it.”

“… I didn’t know,” Jester said, a little ashamed.

“That is not your fault. I’ve… there have been many experiences where the sensation of someone touching me is associated, with pain. That has. Shaped me… in ways. I did not expect you to know that as I’ve never shared that.”

“Would you like to? Share?”

“…. it’s not important.”

A silence came between the two and after several minutes Caleb sighed, accepting that the tiefling would not drop this.

“Jester, there is no need to worry about me. The moment has passed, and we are both fine. You saved my life and I am grateful.”

The wizard spoke while looking down at his hands, avoiding her gaze. Yet as the seconds ticked by, he was surprised there were no more follow-up questions. Instead, the only thing he picked up was a muffled sniffle.

Suddenly his gaze was no longer fixated on his hands as it traveled back upward toward Jester who had buried her head into her knees. She was clutching herself and shaking a little, trying to make herself as compact as possible.

“I don’t know how to help you.” The cleric cried.

“Help? Jester, you don’t have to help me,” Caleb said his heart cracking. “It’s alright.”

“I know I don’t have to,” She said, digging further into herself. “I want to.”

“… why?”

“Because you’re wonderful.” Jester whimpered. “And I wish you could see that.”

Caleb Widogast had a long list of things he called himself. Wonderful was not one of them. He wasn’t sure how to respond and even when Jester lifted her head to look at him, tears rolling down her face.

“… can I hug you?”

“Hug?” The wizard sputtered.

“I can’t think of anything else I can do, but I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable. Can I?”

“I…. suppose. If it will help you.” _If it's you it may be okay._

She didn’t respond to that but rose back onto her feet. As she did, the orange-haired human realized he had spoken without thinking. Jester was going to hug him? Now? No. It’s going to hurt. It’s not right. He doesn’t deserve it.

“Jester wait I-”

He was too late. The tiefling had knelt by his side and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him in close. While the embrace was meant to provide comfort to Caleb, her touch sent his nerves recoiling in fear. The wizard tensed, his brain and body already telling him he needed to break free. His breathing quickened as the hug tightened, her strength overcoming his.

“I would never leave you. Never.”

She whispered into his shoulder, and a low groan escaped him. A small whine like an injured animal echoed through the small cave. His mind started racing, trying to rationalize why this was happening. Why would she go this far for someone like him?

“Of course,” He laughed weakly, finding an answer. “You need someone who can use magic like me. It only makes sens-”

“I don’t want someone else; I want you.”

His mind refused this.

“No. You deserve better. You all do. I’m not worth-”

“Cayleb.”

“… yes?”

“Stop talking.”

So, he did, and when Jester did not let go as the hours passed, Caleb stopped trying to escape as well.

* * *

He awoke with the morning still gripped by the tiefling.

_Stupid, I should have kept watch._ He thought angry with himself. _We got lucky that nothing found us._

That faded when he caught sight of Jester still wrapped around him. Her breathing came out easy and steady as her head leaned up against his chest. They had fallen asleep propped against a hard cave wall without pillows, blankets, or even the dome to keep them warm.

_Then why do I feel so rested?_

He knew the answer but shook his head quickly to discard the thought.

“Jester,” The wizard said, hoping his voice was enough to wake her.

“Mmmmm.”

The cleric seemed to ignore her name and opted to snuggle deeper into Caleb’s chest.

“Jester, we have to go.”

“Mmmmmmmmmmm.”

Swallowing deeply, he steeled his already shaky hand and patted the tiefling softly on the head. This seemed to have some effect as Jester’s eyes slowly cracked open, still heavy with sleep.

“…. hello,” Caleb said with an unsure smile.

Her eyes ripped open as a fierce blush covered her from head to toe. Releasing the wizard Jester scooted back deeper into the cave, her heart racing.

“…. ah…. I…. I’m so sorry, Cayleb!” Jester shouted, her face blazing with embarrassment. “I just wanted to help, but I was so tired that I-”

“It’s alright Jester,” The wizard said with a wave of his hand. “We should get going though.”

“Y-yeah,” She stammered getting to her feet. “I’ll contact the others and tell them we’re fine.”

“That would be best,” Caleb said, turning his head away from the cleric so she could not see the blush his own face held.

He tentatively looked out of the cave to search for danger and was relieved to find none at the moment. Turning back, he quietly watched Jester manipulating her magic and cast a sending spell.

“Nott, we’re okay. We’re going to be making our way back to camp now. Also, watch out for ogres they are mean, strong, and smelly. There are-”

“That’s twenty-five Jester,” Caleb said carefully counting her words.

“Shoot,” She answered, coming out of the sending spell. “I wanted to tell them there were four of them, should I send another?”

“Save your strength. Ogres might not be the only thing in these woods.”

“Okay,” Jester said before following the wizard out of the cave. “Uh, Cayleb.”

“Yes?”

“I am really sorry about last night,” The cleric said softly. “I didn’t mean to push you.”

“There’s no need, Jester,” The orange-haired human said firmly. “You just wanted to help.”

“Did I?”

Caleb paused as he turned to look at the tiefling. She stared back with quiet determination in her eyes.

_You help every day, but I am not worth it._

The cruel thought was in his head before he could stop it. He hesitated and tried to think of a better way to explain as Jester continued to stare.

“… You,” Caleb began before a deep crunch of splitting wood stopped the conversation.

Both members of the Nein looked towards the sound and saw an ogre in the distance marching through the woods.

“Get down Cayleb,” Jester whispered, already ducking down behind a nearby tree.

The wizard followed the order and crouched down with the cleric, properly hiding them from the ogre’s gaze.

“Do you think the other two are nearby?” Jester asked, keeping her focus on the giant in the distance.

“I’d imagine so.”

“We might take it out if we move fast enough. It’s blocking the way to camp, and it may take too long to go around.”

“The noise could attract the others and while we may take out one with just the two of us, three is too much.”

“So, what do we do?”

Caleb grew quiet as he thought over their options.

“We will create a distraction; can you have your duplicate run in the opposite direction?”

“Oh, that’s easy,” Jester said with a grin. “I can also cast ‘pass without a trace’.”

“Perfect.”

With a flick of her wrist, a perfect copy of herself appeared next to the pair. Next, after concentrating her magic, a dark green shadow fell onto both of them, muffling their steps.

“We’ll move as soon as it gives chase,” The wizard said, preparing himself and gathering his courage.

“Got it.”

The cleric sent her duplicate dashing away from them while running in a direction the ogre could easily notice. It was not long before a roar signified the trick had worked. Several heavy thumps shook the ground as the monster started its pursuit of the magic copy.

“Let’s go.”

Jester and Caleb moved together toward camp, their eyes and ears searching for more signs of threats. Their progress was slow and measured, taking care to not alert anything else in the forest that might do them harm. Or at least that is what Caleb believed they were doing until he noticed Jester scanning the ground carefully.

“Jester,” The wizard whispered. “What are you doing?”

“Collecting firewood,” The cleric answered, picking up another stick to add to the bundle she had found. “It’s still my turn.”

“… smart.”

“I know.”

The wizard then spotted a nearby dead branch and picked it up as he walked by.

The two continued in this fashion, moving quietly while picking up sticks as they went along. Soon they had a good pace going, pointing out more branches or maneuvering around puddles of mud. Despite the danger, the two spent the morning silently enjoying each other’s company. Eventually, they reached the edge of the forest.

“Just a little further and we’ll be back at camp,” Caleb said, carrying his bundle of sticks as he peeked around a tree he and Jester were hiding behind.

Ahead of them lay the field that Jester and Caleb had met up in just the other day. However, stomping through the grass with a large club in its grasp was another ogre.

“Should I send out another duplicate?” The cleric asked, holding her own pile of branches close to her chest.

“There’s not as much cover on the field as there is in the forest,” The orange-haired human said scanning the surroundings. “What do you think we should do?”

“I think we can take it,” Jester said with a grin. “Hit it hard and fast.”

“Alright then, lead the way.”

* * *

A large yawn escaped the ogre as it blinked away some of the drowsiness it carried. Half-heartedly taking another look at the field, it scratched the back of its head, not really paying any attention to the task it was given. Keep on the lookout for the blue tiny and the skinny tiny. A simple enough task, but it was overly exciting. Now fully bored, the ogre marched back towards the forest, wondering if it would have better luck there, only for its movements to be halted completely. The ogre grunted and tried to move, but it was as if something had grabbed hold of his person and refused to let go.

While its body could not move, the giant’s eyes tracked a great boulder as it was launched from the woods as if some force catapulted it. Without the ability to dodge, the large rock smashed into the ogre with a heavy crunch and knocked it completely off its feet. Both aware and angry, the ogre gathered its strength and broke out of the hold getting its feet and ready to fight. A bolt guided by magic fired from the woods and hit the ogre in the shoulder. While the damage was minimal, it shocked the monster as its entire body started to radiant light.

With no warning or time to prepare itself, a shimmering green arrow shot out and easily hit the ogre in its stomach. Immediately acid seeped into the skin of the beast who roared in pain and dropped its club to better hold its belly. The ogre’s agony was so intense it almost didn’t see Jester run at it in full sprint. What the monster did notice was that the blue tiefling’s form had been enlarged where the cleric and the ogre were roughly the same size.

With a fierce kick to the head, Jester toppled the beast and lay it out flat on its back. Grabbing the ogre by the wrist, she ripped its hand away from its stomach, revealing the acid-laced splotch. Her free hand glowed a sickly green as Jester jammed it into the monster’s stomach and inflicted every wound she could, on every important organ she could.

The combined damage of the acid and necrotic magic melted away the ogre’s skin, allowing Jester’s entire arm to sink deeply into its belly. The monster heaved blood once and then never again as its head fell back, dead on the spot.

“Eeeeeeeew,” The tiefling said as she removed her blood-soaked arm.

“Sometimes you truly frighten me,” Caleb said, walking up to her while carrying both of their stick bundles.

“I didn’t think that would happen,” Jester said, taking a small sniff of her hand. “Now I smell like an ogre.”

“Perhaps you should do something about that. Have you heard of baths?”

“Haha,” The cleric said, rolling her eyes as the enlarge spell wore off.

“It’s a device that lets you bath yourself in water.”

“You’re enjoying this too much.”

“I am.”

She looked at the wizard, his blue eyes shining as he chuckled. The sight was enough to make her snicker and despite a dead ogre as a backdrop, soft laugher soon filled the field. Three different war cries put a stop to that.

Looking back towards the woods, the other three ogres burst out from the trees with clubs in firm grasps.

“Time to go.”

Jester nodded, and the two ran. Cutting through the field as fast as they could, the members of the Nein sprinted away from the chasing monsters. However, while the long rest they had in the cave had been enough to bring them both back up to full strength even at his best, Caleb Widogast was not extremely fast.

“Cayleb move!”

“… really… trying… to,” The wizard wheezed, keeping one eye behind him.

“What should we do?” Jester said, staying by Caleb’s side.

“… going to… try something….”

He stopped and turned toward the approaching horde. Dropping both bundles of sticks in front of him, his hands dove into his pocket. Locating and pulling out a small piece of phosphorus, he lay it flat on one hand.

“CAYLEB!”

He heard Jester’s cry but ignored it as he ran his other hand through the phosphorus as if he were cutting it like a knife. Mentally using the pile of sticks as a base, the bundle instantly caught fire and spread across the field. In mere moments, the wizard crafted a wall of fire separating them from the pack of ogres. Being so close to the flames convinced Caleb of its power as the fire started eating away at the green grass, quickly growing fiercer by the second. Most of the ogres on the other side stopped dead in their tracks as the fire burned wildly. Yet one of the three was determined and dove at the wall, ignoring the burns that licked its body.

The wizard could only stare in shock as the ogre forced its way through the fire and flames before it locked eyes with him. With an evil grin, the ogre raised its weapon, ready to crush the human with one blow.

Thump, thump.

Two crossbow bolts hit the giant dead on. With one in its throat and the other in an eye, the monster did not even have time to scream before tittering and falling back into the wall of fire. Where its life was quickly snuffed out.

_… I know those bolts._ Caleb thought to himself as he let out a long breath of relief.

“Cayleb!” Jester said, running up to the wizard and examining him. “Are you okay?”

“I am fine.”

“Oh good,” She sighed before glaring at him. “Stop scaring me! You have to take better care of yourself Cayleb!”

"J-ja, my apologizes."

Loud sounds of battle rang out on the other side of the still-burning wall. The buzzing of many insects, hard punches connecting with tough flesh, the familiar crackle of eldritch blasts, and the swinging of a great sword slicing off limbs. Moments later the wall petered out with a long scorch mark and a wide patch of burnt grass being all that remained. On the other side lay two dead ogres and the rest of the Mighty Nein.

“Couldn’t make it easy for us, could you?” Fjord said as he let his sword vanish into thin air. “Looking for firewood should not be this hard.”

“Then maybe you should do it next time,” Jester said with hands on her hips.

“Won’t be my turn,” The half-orc grinned.

“Well, it’s not mine either, I’ve done it three times now!”

Fjord just shrugged his shoulders “Chores aside you two alright?”

“We seem to be, despite my best efforts,” Caleb said, dusting himself off. “Thank yo-”

A small goblin girl leaping onto his chest and hugging him tightly interrupted the wizard.

“Caleb!” Nott cried while holding tight. “I was so worried!”

“Ah,” The wizard said, a little uncomfortable from the sudden embrace. “Sorry for the troub-”

“Cutting it a little close there with that big guy,” Beau said, slapping Caleb on the back. “There’s a reason you should stay in the back, you know.”

“J-ja that’s-”

“Your magic was impressive,” Yasha said tentatively and awkwardly, patting his arm. “Take care you do not hurt yourself with it.”

“That is-”

“Speaking of which, that last stunt of yours left you a little burned,” Caduceus said, stepping forward and looking over the wizard with a medical eye. “May I help with that?”

“… I suppo-”

Caduceus smiled and placed a hand on the human’s head as a soft prayer of healing was spoken. The magic flashed through the wizard and whisked away the minor burns and scraps as if they were never there.

“Much better.”

“You-”

“Hey.”

Despite trying to get a word in, the wizard was again cut off by the half-orc who placed a hearty hand on his shoulder.

“Glad you’re okay buddy.”

The many touches of the Mighty Nein quickly overwhelmed the orange-haired human and his emotions were getting the better of him. Shaking slightly, Caleb’s lost his breath and began to gasp for air.

“You okay Caleb?” Beau asked eyeing the wizard with confusion.

“Are you having trouble breathing?” Caduceus already prepared to cast more healing spells.

“Is something wrong?” Nott asked, releasing her tight grip on the wizard.

The wizard swallowed deeply and nearly choked out the words. “I am, fine. Winded, I guess.”

“We can rest if you need to,” Yasha said, her concern easy to hear.

“Saw a river nearby so I can catch lunch if you’re hungry,” Fjord said, a little eager to fish one more time.

Caleb paused and looked at the Nein. Before shaking his head firmly. “There is no need, I am content wi-”

“Cayleb.”

He stopped and turned toward her with bright blue eyes.

“We want to make sure you’re okay because we care about you,” She said slowly, offering him her hand that was not soaked in blood. “We’re here for you. You can hold on to us if you want.”

The wizard saw the hand and hesitated before reaching with his own. Interlocking his fingers with hers brought a gorgeous smile to the cleric’s face.

“See? Not so bad. Are you ready for the next step?”

“T-the next?”

“Can we hug you?”

“… why?”

“Because we’re happy you’re alive.”

The exchange confused the rest of the Nein but no one commented on it, in fact, no one moved at all, not until Caleb nodded. Quickly waving the others over, Jester started a tight embrace around the wizard’s waist. The others paused but eventually added themselves to the hug.

“… could we move this? The ogres are starting to smell,” Fjord said in a whisper.

“Just go with it man,” Beau answered while trying to angle herself to see if she could hug Yasha at the same time.

In the center of the hold stood Caleb Widogast, stunned into silence. Alone he had been content, yet with the Nein in their own strange way they cared for him, they loved him. Standing in the middle of a field embraced by friends, a new feeling took hold, something far stronger than just contentment.

For just a moment, he was whole.


End file.
